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Describe yourself as a profile

Describe yourself as a profile lRDmb
My name is Nann Pa Pa Hlaing. Most of my friends call me 'Pyaung Gyi', coz of the broad forehead I have(just kidding). I'm 17 now. I'm still a student and I'm a single, too. Most of my age have relationahips. But I think we are too young to have relationships and have to focus on our study. And I don't want to give my time to someone. I hate flirting too. During the pandemic, I attend online classes to improve my english and japanese skills. There's another reason of studying foreign languages. That's I want to go abroad. When you see me, the first thing you will notice with me is my long hair, nearly to my knee, and my broad forehead(that's my weakness). I have a quite good looking body(that's how I think myself)coz I do workouts and dance zomba as I can. I have a little bit fair skin and normal height like the other girls, 5'4''. But I want to be taller than now. Most of my friends, especially close friends say that I'm reliable(that's how they think about me and I think so). They tell me about the problems of their relationships even I'm a single. huh. And I advice how to treat each other. And about the family's problems and the secrets, too. They also believe that I will never talk their secrets to someone coz I only have them. nehh(Not bad). I know myself too. I can hold inside everything I know. The closer you treat me. the more you will know how fun-loving I am. (I'm cute, too. hee'')I can tell jokes in an inconvenient condition, like when I'm in front of a strict teacher or a person. That's why I'm always scolded and beaten at schools and my home. When I was young(may be about 7 or 8), I wanted to be a very popular business woman like I watched in movies but not now. In music, I love to listen reggae. If there is no pandemic, I would attend the university as a first year student what I always wish to be. But now I'm stuck. I'm so disappointed with that. My ambition before the pandemic is to become an engineer coz I passed the matriculation exam with enough marks to attend this university. Now, my goal is a little bit different from this. I really want to go abroad now, especially to Japan, my dreamland. So now, I'm attending the online classes like I said. I want to get the scholar from the IELTS but I know it's not really easy to get it. So I'm trying hard as I can. As I become older, I really want a job in another country with a good salary so that I can support my parents to live peacefully in the rest of their life and I also want to have great times with them.
My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nann
Possible typo: you repeated a word
Pa Pa
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hlaing
. Most of my friends call me '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pyaung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gyi
',
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
of the broad forehead I have(
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
kidding). I'm 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
. I'm
still
a student and I'm a single, too. Most of my age have
Possible spelling mistake found.
relationahips
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we are too young to have relationships and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on our study. And I don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to give my time to someone. I hate flirting too. During the pandemic, I attend online classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. There's another reason of studying foreign languages. That's I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go abroad. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
me, the
first
thing you will notice with me is my long hair,
nearly
to my knee, and my broad forehead(that's my weakness). I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
quite
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
body(that's how I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
myself)
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
I do workouts and dance
Possible spelling mistake found.
zomba
as I can. I have a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
skin and normal height like the other girls,
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5'4
''.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be taller than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Most of my friends,
especially
close friends say that I'm reliable(that's how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about me and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
). They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me about the problems of their relationships even I'm a single.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
huh
. And I
Did you mean "advise" (verb) instead of advice (noun)?
advice
how to treat each other. And about the family's problems and the secrets, too. They
also
believe that I will never talk their secrets to someone
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nehh
(Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
). I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
myself too. I can hold inside everything I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
. The closer you treat me. the more you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how fun-loving I am. (I'm cute, too.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hee
'')I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
jokes in an inconvenient condition, like when I'm in front of a strict teacher or a person. That's why I'm always scolded and beaten at schools and my home.

When I was young(
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
about 7 or 8), I wanted to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular business woman like I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
. In music, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to listen reggae. If there is no pandemic, I would attend the university as a
first
year student what I always wish to be.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
I'm stuck. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
disappointed with that. My ambition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the pandemic is to become an engineer
Possible spelling mistake found.
coz
I passed the matriculation exam with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
marks to attend this university.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
, my goal is a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from this. I
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
,
especially
to Japan, my dreamland.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, I'm attending the online classes like I said. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the scholar from the IELTS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
it's not
really
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I'm trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as I can. As I become older, I
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a job in another country with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can support my parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
in the rest of their life and I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have great times with them.
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IELTS essay Describe yourself as a profile

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
484 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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