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Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden? v.1

Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden? v. 1
English has become a prominent language from past few decades around the world. Schools are teaching English to children as a second language in most of the countries. However, there are few places, where they study at primary school. This approach has both advantages and disadvantages, which I will discuss in following paragraphs, before coming to a conclusion Talking about advantages, firstly, language can be learnt easily at kinder garden by children. Since they are new to learning, teachers can mould their mind towards learning two languages simultaneously. For example, many school children who are exposed to English at kindergarten show best performance of language studying than those who have never approached the English earlier. . This way a child can inculcate two languages without any burden and can learn effectively in upcoming years. Secondly, from the beginning of school, children can get exposure of two cultures, which will make their perception wider. They will get to know how rituals and customs are performed, and what are the purpose of their performances. Ultimately, it will help them in their overall growth. However, there are disadvantages also of learning at kinder garden. It can create confusion while learning to become bilingual. Children can get puzzled in choosing which language to apply and where to use. As a result, none of the languages are learnt properly, affecting their communication skills. To illustrate, when they speak, they mix languages. In addition, some children cannot cope up with the studies. So, learning two languages will put an extra burden on them. Therefore, it is better for them to learn another language later. To conclude, I have discussed the merits and demerits of studying English at kinder garden. Although Merits are convincing, demerits can not be ignored. But, it can be overcome by the involvement of both teachers and parents to discuss child's progress and work accordingly
English has become a prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from past few decades around the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are teaching English to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in most of the countries.
However
, there are few places, where they study at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This approach has both advantages and disadvantages, which I will discuss in following paragraphs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
conclusion


Talking about advantages,
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
easily
at kinder garden by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Since they are new to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, teachers can
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their mind towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
simultaneously
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are exposed
to English at kindergarten
A determiner is probably missing here: "show the best".
show best
performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
studying than those who have never approached the English earlier.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This way a child can inculcate two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
without any burden and can learn
effectively
in upcoming years.
Secondly
, from the beginning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure of two cultures, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their perception wider. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how rituals and customs
are performed
, and what are the purpose of their performances.
Ultimately
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their
overall
growth.

However
, there are disadvantages
also
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at kinder garden. It can create confusion while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to become bilingual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
puzzled in choosing which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to apply and where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
As a result
, none of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
properly
, affecting their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To illustrate, when they speak, they mix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot cope up with the studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will put an extra burden on them.
Therefore
, it is better for them to learn another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
later.

To conclude
, I have discussed the merits and demerits of studying English at kinder garden. Although

Merits are convincing, demerits can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it can
be overcome
by the involvement of both teachers and parents to discuss child's progress and work
accordingly
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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