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Describe your favorite teacher. Explain how she\he inspired you? Give examples and details to supoort your answer. v.1

Describe your favorite teacher. Explain how she\he inspired you? Give examples and details to supoort your answer. v. 1
It is often believed that governments should conduct and supervise scientific studies instead of private companies. From my perspective, I completely agree with this statement because of the following reasons. Firstly, governments have sufficient resources in order to undertake those studies properly. In other words, scientific research usually requires cutting-edge facilities as well as advanced technologies that usually cost a considerable amount of money. However, the government budget could remain sustainable via their residents’ tax, allowing them to carry the research out effectively and productively. One illustration of this is nuclear energy research, which was undertaken by the US government years ago. Although the research was reported to use up to $300 million to build nuclear plants only, the scientists made a scientific breakthrough in terms of nuclear power, which led to the decrease in the use of fossil energy, and built a firm foundation of sustainable energy for the whole country. Secondly, corporations working on scientific research may be tempted to maximize profits. This can be explained by the fact that scientific studies usually have great financial potential, which makes some companies attempt to introduce their research to the public hurriedly without adequate trial tests. Regarding medical field, for instance, a new invention can usually give patients a sense of hope. As a result, in order to have effective treatments, they are willing to play no matter what it costs. Therefore, if the invention is done carelessly just to earn profits, not only could it waste patients’ money but it can also put their lives at risk. In conclusion, due to the quality of scientific research and ethical aspect when doing it, I agree strongly with the view that scientific research should be monitored and conducted by governments.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should conduct and supervise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
studies
instead
of private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have sufficient resources in order to undertake those studies
properly
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
requires cutting-edge facilities
as well
as advanced technologies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
cost a considerable amount of money.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget could remain sustainable via their residents’ tax, allowing them to carry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
out
effectively
and
productively
. One illustration of this is nuclear energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, which was undertaken by the US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
years ago. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
was reported
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up to $300 million to build nuclear plants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, the scientists made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
breakthrough in terms of nuclear power, which led to the decrease in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil energy, and built a firm foundation of sustainable energy for the whole country.

Secondly
, corporations working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
may
be tempted
to maximize profits. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
have great financial potential, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
attempt to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to the public
hurriedly
without adequate trial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. Regarding medical field,
for instance
, a new invention can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usually
give patients a sense of hope.
As a result
, in order to have effective treatments, they are willing to play no matter what it costs.
Therefore
, if the invention
is done
carelessly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to earn profits, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could it waste patients’ money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

In conclusion
, due to the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and ethical aspect when doing it, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
strongly
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should
be monitored
and conducted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe your favorite teacher. Explain how she\he inspired you? Give examples and details to supoort your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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