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The man expresses his opinion of the new meal plan. Report his opinion, and explain the reasons that he gives for having that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion of the new meal plan. Report his opinion, and explain the reasons that he gives for having that opinion. v. 1
It is noticeable that an increasing number of animals and plants are categorized as endangered species, which raises the alarm about the loss of biodiversity. This essay will propose many approaches that both governments and individuals can take to prevent biodiversity loss from happening. On the one hand, governments can protect biodiversity by stopping logging and illegal hunting. This is because these are the two main reasons why animals and plants are put at risk of extinction. Cutting forests means destroying the natural habitats that animals cannot survive without. And poaching for commercial purposes has led to a significant decline in the number of certain species like rhinos, tigers and elephants. To cease these practices, governments around the world should pass effective laws to ban illegal logging and hunting, and should imply heavy fines to individuals and companies violating so that the fines can act as a deterrent to other would-be offenders. On the other hand, individuals can also contribute to nature protection by many simple measures. Every person should not purchase products which may involving killing wild animals such as fur coats, crocodile skin wallets or traditional medicine made from parts of rare species like rhino horn flour. Not being able to sell their products would discourage poachers from continuing their wrongdoings, as a result, a large number of rare animal lives could be saved. In addition, because young generations hold the country’s future in their hands, teaching them about the importance of biodiversity would ensure a green planet with a variety of species in the long run. To do this, parents should take their children to the zoos regularly and teach them to respect and help small animals. Schools should organize field trips to the forests so that young students can learn about the nature themselves and improve their love with the wildlife around. In conclusion, many methods can be applied to prevent the loss of biodiversity. Governments and individuals should share the burden to build an Earth in which human and the wildlife can live in harmony.
It is noticeable that an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants
are categorized
as endangered species, which raises the alarm about the loss of biodiversity. This essay will propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
approaches that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
biodiversity loss from happening.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can protect biodiversity by stopping logging and illegal hunting. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are the two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants
are put
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction. Cutting forests means destroying the natural habitats that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
cannot survive without. And poaching for commercial purposes has led to a significant decline in the number of certain species like rhinos, tigers and elephants. To cease these practices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
around the world should pass effective laws to ban illegal logging and hunting, and should imply heavy fines to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
violating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the fines can act as a deterrent to other would-be offenders.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can
also
contribute to nature protection by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
simple measures. Every person should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products which may involving killing wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as fur coats, crocodile skin wallets or traditional medicine made from parts of rare species like rhino horn flour. Not being able to sell their products would discourage poachers from continuing their wrongdoings,
as a result
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
could
be saved
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young generations hold the country’s future in their hands, teaching them about the importance of biodiversity would ensure a green planet with a variety of species in the long run. To do this, parents should take their children to the zoos
regularly
and teach them to respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Schools should organize field trips to the forests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that young students can learn about the nature themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with the wildlife around.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods can
be applied
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the loss of biodiversity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should share the burden to build an Earth in which human and the wildlife can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion of the new meal plan. Report his opinion, and explain the reasons that he gives for having that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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