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describe were you like to go to relax and why. Use details and examples to support your answer. v.1

describe were you like to go to relax and why. Use details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The method with which the information and data were passed has changed throughout the development of technology, especially the Internet. Although this transforming has various positive impacts, the world faces new and different issues. This essay will explain that misapplication is one of the fundamental problems that cause concern; however, by imposing some policy, these problems can be stopped. With the advent of the Internet, all aspects of everyone`s life have transformed. Not only the improvement in sending of data has occurred, but also the time, which was wasted, is saved, however, misapplication and fraud become common. As the over-reliance of people on the Internet, the number of online victims has increased, also many people have intimidated that their documents will be shared in social media. Moreover, as online stores become popular, many ones are deceived by online fraud, and they lose their money or receive fake products. To illustrate, if they buy a cloth from an online shop, they will get a fake one, which is far different from the picture. Thus, many crimes are committed by the Internet. There are various types of steps that could be taken to minimize the harmful impacts of the Internet. The be-all and end-all solution for this issue is imposing some policies to limit the fraudster`s access. Furthermore, if governments devote an organ's obligation to monitor the websites and online purchasing, the amount of online crime will be dropped. Also, hackers are another cause of concern, as they share private information on social media and transport a big amount of money from other`s bank account illegally. So, governments can improve safety on the Internet. To sum up, despite all the positive points of the Internet, there are negative sides such as misapplication, fraud, and hacking that can be prevented by governments` policy and monitoring of related-organs.
The method with which the information and data
were passed
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
throughout the development of technology,
especially
the Internet. Although this transforming has various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts, the world faces new and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that misapplication is one of the fundamental problems that cause concern;
however
, by imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policy, these problems can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

With the advent of the Internet, all aspects of
The character between 'everyone' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "everyone’s" (curly apostrophe) or "everyone's" (straight apostrophe).
everyone`s
life have transformed. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the improvement in sending of data has occurred,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the time, which
was wasted
,
is saved
,
however
, misapplication and fraud become common. As the over-reliance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the Internet, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
victims has increased,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have intimidated that their documents will
be shared
in social media.
Moreover
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores become popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ones
are deceived
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
fraud, and they lose their money or receive fake products. To illustrate, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a cloth from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shop, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a fake one, which is far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the picture.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crimes
are committed
by the Internet.

There are various types of steps that could
be taken
to minimize the harmful impacts of the Internet. The be-all and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-all solution for this issue is imposing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies to limit the
The character between 'fraudster' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "fraudster’s" (curly apostrophe) or "fraudster's" (straight apostrophe).
fraudster`s
access.
Furthermore
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
devote an organ's obligation to monitor the websites and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
crime will
be dropped
.
Also
, hackers are another cause of concern, as they share private information on social media and transport a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money from
The character between 'other' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "other’s" (curly apostrophe) or "other's" (straight apostrophe).
other`s
bank account
illegally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
safety on the Internet.

To sum up, despite all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of the Internet, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides such as misapplication, fraud, and hacking that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
` policy and monitoring of related-organs.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay describe were you like to go to relax and why. Use details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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