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Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? 3bB6w
The world I come from is in the belt of the Xi'an city-an "urban village". This community in which I grew up, is neither friendly nor helpful. There were not only political power struggles but also constant legal disputes. Poor education quality and the neighborhood drove my family to decide that I should be going to school somewhere far away from there. Yet, none of my family regarded our position to be "disadvantaged" but to be "needs improvement". Being a part of this chaos, my parents led a decent life and supported me to go to school for 9 consecutive years despite both of the schools were over five kilometers away. The place where shaped my current personality and life values is probably the junior high I went, an environment I love wholeheartedly. The competition for academic excellence was brutal and non-stop, but my teachers and classmates were always supportive of each other. We had debate contests between classes, analyzed movies to discuss social issues and engaged in outdoor athletics. The huge contrast between my school and my community has guided me to realize that my dream should not only be for personal interest but also to enrich the lives of others. Supporting each other often results in the progression of every one but attempting to undermine one another always leads to miserable experience. That, is the main reason why I desire the best, to have the capability of bringing change even more to society.
The world I
come
from is in the belt of the Xi'an city-an
"
urban village
"
.

This community in which I grew up, is neither friendly nor helpful. There were not
only
political power struggles
but
also
constant legal disputes. Poor education quality and the neighborhood drove my family to decide that I should be going to
school
somewhere far away from there.

Yet
, none of my family regarded our position to be
"
disadvantaged
"
but
to be
"
needs improvement
"
. Being a part of this chaos, my parents led a decent life and supported me to go to
school
for 9 consecutive years despite both of the
schools
were over five kilometers away.

The place where shaped my
current
personality and life values is
probably
the junior high I went, an environment I
love
wholeheartedly
. The competition for academic excellence was brutal and non-
stop
,
but
my teachers and classmates were always supportive of each other. We had debate contests between classes, analyzed movies to discuss social issues and engaged in outdoor athletics.

The huge contrast between my
school
and my community has guided me to realize that my dream should not
only
be for personal interest
but
also
to enrich the
lives
of others. Supporting each other
often
results in the progression of every one
but
attempting to undermine one another always leads to miserable experience. That, is the main reason why I desire the best, to have the capability of bringing
change
even more to society.
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IELTS essay Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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