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describe the evolution of the village from the past

describe the evolution of the village from the past 2lwYA
Over the period, the village witnessed several dramatic changes. In fact, in the South, the area near the sea was completely renovated. Meanwhile, the area housed several buildings in 1995, expanded. Instead, in North-east, the entire zone was totally replaced by playgrounds. As the residential area is concerned, from 1995 to the present time, numerous facilities have been added along both sides of the main street. Moreover, a new line of pavement has been set up in front of the compound. Going down to the South, the fish market on the offshore in 1995 has been knocked- down to build four apartments. Even, the area was deprived of the harbor. On the street corner, in South-East, the Hotel extended its perimeter with a car park. Finally, what was a countryside in 1995, has been totally cleared (farmland and forest park). As it is visible, today there are large golf-yards, including on the bottom, two tennis courts.
Over the period, the village witnessed several dramatic
changes
. In fact, in the South, the
area
near the sea was completely renovated. Meanwhile, the
area
housed several buildings in 1995, expanded.
Instead
, in North-east, the entire zone was
totally
replaced by playgrounds.

As the residential
area
is concerned
, from 1995 to the present time, numerous facilities have been
added
along both sides of the main street.
Moreover
, a new line of pavement has
been set
up in front of the compound. Going down to the South, the fish market on the offshore in 1995 has
been knocked
- down to build four apartments. Even, the
area
was deprived
of the harbor. On the street corner, in South-East, the Hotel extended its perimeter with a car park.

Finally
, what was a countryside in 1995, has been
totally
cleared (farmland and forest park). As it is visible,
today
there are large golf-yards, including on the bottom, two tennis courts.
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IELTS essay describe the evolution of the village from the past

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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