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Describe the best presents of ur life

Describe the best presents of ur life GrJjQ
I have received many presents in my life from my family and friend, but today I am going to talk about the best gift that I ever got in my life. It was the laptop. An Apple MacBook, Its color was space grey. My father bought this for me as a birthday gift when I was in 9th class. On that day, my family arranged a small gathering to celebrate my birthday. All guests gave me gifts, I opened some of the boxes, and they contained watches, clothes, and books. But when I unboxed my father’s gift, I was shocked. He gifted me MacBook. I was not expecting this. I was thinking of a mobile phone or watch. The reason I believe that is the best gift of my life is that I belong to a humble background. Children in my community usually don't get expensive presents. Before my birthday. I had many exams, and my father promised me that if I get good results, he will give me an expensive gift on my birthday. I always dreamt about my dad gifting me expensive things but not this But when I saw the MacBook on my birthday, I was over the moon. The other reason is that I always wanted a personal laptop for my studies. Moreover, I made many assignments in my notebook. I had searched many articles, online books, and study websites which I accessed through my MacBook helped me to get high scores. Therefore, this is the best gift of my life that I will always remember.
I have received
many
presents in my
life
from my family and friend,
but
today
I am going to talk about the best
gift
that I ever
got
in my
life
. It was the laptop. An Apple MacBook, Its color was space
grey
. My father
bought
this for me as a birthday
gift
when I was in 9th
class
. On that day, my family arranged a
small
gathering to celebrate my birthday. All guests gave me
gifts
, I opened
some of the
boxes, and they contained
watches
, clothes, and books.
But
when I unboxed my father’s
gift
, I
was shocked
. He gifted me MacBook. I was not expecting this. I was thinking of a mobile phone or
watch
. The reason I believe
that is
the best
gift
of my
life
is that I belong to a humble background. Children in my community
usually
don't
get
expensive presents.
Before
my birthday. I had
many
exams, and my father promised me that if I
get
good
results, he will give me an expensive
gift
on my birthday. I always dreamt about my dad gifting me expensive things
but
not this

But
when I
saw
the MacBook on my birthday, I was over the moon. The other reason is that I always wanted a personal laptop for my studies.
Moreover
, I made
many
assignments in my notebook. I had searched
many
articles, online books, and study websites which I accessed through my MacBook
helped
me to
get
high scores.
Therefore
, this is the best
gift
of my
life
that I will always remember.
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IELTS essay Describe the best presents of ur life

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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