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Describe how is people effects about environment

Describe how is people effects about environment q5xqw
Healthy environment is the most important thing to be alive. In fact, by changing time and developing technology and also declining man activities, there has been lots of causes to have a bad environment and the main problem is reducing Ozon layer. On the other hand, as we know Ozon layer keep us safe from hurt by X-ray, also this problem is causes to melting polar ice and even hurt animals fertility. From my perspective, healthy environment can boost happiness and it can improving the humans life grade as well. On the other hand, by using public transportation there is more chance to keep the city clean and have less pollution.
Healthy environment is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to be alive. In fact, by changing time and developing technology and
also
declining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
activities, there has been lots of causes to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment and the main problem is reducing
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ozon
layer.
On the other hand
, as we know
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ozon
layer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us safe from hurt by X-ray,
also
this problem is causes to melting polar ice and even hurt animals fertility. From my perspective, healthy environment can boost happiness and it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "improve"
improving
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "humans'" or "human's"?
humans
life grade
as well
.
On the other hand
, by using public transportation there is more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the city clean and have less pollution.
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IELTS essay Describe how is people effects about environment

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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