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Childcare is the biggest challange in life for parents

Childcare is the biggest challange in life for parents 3xRnN
Childcare is the biggest challange in life for parents. People argue that mothers are better than father in taking care of children and they ought to priorities childcare over work. In my opinion, I found this argument realistic to some extent and this essay will give reasons to support the argument. First, nursing is a female nature so even if a man decided to take care of childern, he will not be able to do this part naturally. Of course there are modern alternatives like using formulas or storing mothers' milk but that would not be ideal. For instance, that would lead to unwanted health issues for children. Doctors always say, which known from a personal experience since I am a father, that breast feeding is better for the child health and for his mother's health as well. Second, it is scientificlly proven that a child needs his mother more than his father especially during his first days of life. For example, in Saudi Arabia, if couples want to get divorsed, it is the mother right to be the gardian of the child who is under 7 years old. There is one point that I believe it would not make women better than men doing this job. When the child passes two years old, both father and mather could take care of him equally since the child doesn't need to be breast feeded. Finally, childcare is a shared job that needs the effort from both parents. Someone has to be the breadmaker meanwhile the other should take care of the children.
Childcare is the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
challange
in life for parents.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that mothers are better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they ought
Did you mean "to prioritize" (American English) or "to prioritise" (British English)?
to priorities
childcare over work. In my opinion, I found this argument realistic to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and this essay will give reasons to support the argument.

First
, nursing is a female nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
decided to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
, he will not be able to do this part
naturally
.
Of course
there are modern alternatives like using formulas or storing mothers' milk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that would not be ideal.
For instance
, that would lead to unwanted health issues for children. Doctors always say, which known from a personal experience since I am a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
, that
This word is normally spelled as one.
breast feeding
is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
health and for his mother's health
as well
.

Second, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
scientificlly
proven that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs his mother more than his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
especially
during his
first
days of life.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia, if couples want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
divorsed
, it is the mother right to be the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gardian
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who is under 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

There is one point that I believe it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
women better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
doing this job. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
passes two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mather
could take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of him
equally
since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
doesn't need to be
Consider using a past participle here: "breasted".
breast
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fed", the past tense form of the verb 'feed'?
feeded
.

Finally
, childcare is a shared job that needs the effort from both parents. Someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be the
Possible spelling mistake found.
breadmaker
meanwhile the other should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the children.
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IELTS essay Childcare is the biggest challange in life for parents

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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