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Describe about a language taught experience

Describe about a language taught experience N3PmW
From my childhood I’m passionate to study about languages mainly English. Consequently, when my parents get readied to sent me school; I made a demand that I want to enroll in English medium academy.  Coming to my family, we belong to a middle class and all other my sister and cousins goes Malayalam medium school. Basically except my father, none of the elders didn’t give attention to education. So I was the first member in my family who taught in English medium up to 10th standard. When I’m joining in a private English school; believed that I will become an English lady after a number of years. On the contrary the journey was too difficult for me as aMalayalam speaker. Even after my under graduation in English; I’m not steady to speak in English. I can write and read. Even I can understand what others telling in English. But I’m not able to talk. That’s why on my vacation I decided to join for a spoken English class. When I shared it with my father, he asked me why I’m interested to study English prior to Hindi. He told me as I’m an Indian, I need to know my national language. How can I pick up about another country without learning about my own country? I found his question a challenge. The inspiration for learning Hindi came into my life through my father. Writing and reading helped me to get Hindi as well as movies and documentaries. My study was without the help of any coaching center. However, I can now easily handle my national language. I believe that nothing in this world is difficult if we love to pick up. That's why I decided to become an English teacher. The mind that is not ready to concede failure even after numerous attempts will one day find success.
From my childhood I’m passionate to study about languages
mainly
English.
Consequently
, when my parents
get
readied to
sent
me school; I made a demand that I want to enroll in English medium academy.  Coming to my family, we belong to a middle
class
and all other my sister and cousins goes Malayalam medium school.
Basically
except my father, none of the elders didn’t give attention to education.
So
I was the
first
member in my family who taught in English medium up to 10th standard. When I’m joining in a private English school; believed that I will become an English lady after a number of years.
On the contrary
the journey was too difficult for me as
aMalayalam
speaker. Even after my under graduation in English; I’m not steady to speak in English. I can write and read. Even I can understand what others telling in English.
But
I’m not able to talk. That’s why on my vacation I decided to
join
for a spoken English
class
. When I shared it with my father, he asked me why I’m interested to study English prior to Hindi. He
told
me as I’m an Indian, I need to know my national language. How can I pick up about another country without learning about my
own
country? I found his question a challenge. The inspiration for learning Hindi came into my life through my father. Writing and reading
helped
me to
get
Hindi
as well
as movies and documentaries. My study was without the
help
of any coaching center.
However
, I can
now
easily
handle my national language. I believe that nothing in this world is difficult if we
love
to pick up. That's why I decided to become an English teacher. The mind
that is
not ready to concede failure even after numerous attempts will one day find success.
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IELTS essay Describe about a language taught experience

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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