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Describe a water sport you would like to try in the future

Describe a water sport you would like to try in the future 53XQN
India is a diverse country. There are a number of water sports available in the country. Such as, swimming, boating, water rafting and scuba diving etcetera. Today I would like to talk about a swimming which I will definitely try in the future. In childhood days, I was passionate about swimming. On the contrary, I didn't chance to try in it. Last month, one swimming pool constructed near by my hometown. A plethora of juveniles and adult joined their pool. It is 3 trainers to provide training. So, It is very beneficial for children and adults. Apart from that, youth club provide many facilities and equipment. Like, goggles, gloves and oxygen. My neighbors also go to these pool. They said to me, there are ample of benefits and coach is very well trainers. Due to my hectic schedule, I have not abundance knowledge about swimming and I am extremely busy in my study. When, in the future, I will get a chance, I will definitely try it. It is very important for human beings as well as I am water phobia. On the contrary, I want to try in the future. It is very helpful for emergency.
India is a diverse country. There are a number of water sports available in the country. Such as, swimming, boating, water rafting and scuba diving etcetera.
Today
I would like to talk about a swimming which I will definitely try in the future. In childhood days, I was passionate about swimming.
On the contrary
, I didn't chance to try in it. Last month, one swimming pool constructed
near by
my hometown. A plethora of juveniles and adult
joined
their pool. It is 3 trainers to provide training.
So
, It is
very
beneficial for children and adults. Apart from that, youth club provide
many
facilities and equipment. Like, goggles, gloves and oxygen. My neighbors
also
go to these pool. They said to me, there are ample of benefits and coach is
very
well trainers. Due to my hectic schedule, I have not abundance knowledge about
swimming and
I am
extremely
busy in my study. When, in the future, I will
get
a chance, I will definitely try it. It is
very
important
for human beings
as well
as I am water phobia.
On the contrary
, I want to try in the future. It is
very
helpful for emergency.
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IELTS essay Describe a water sport you would like to try in the future

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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