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Describe a tradition in your country

I am going to describe a tradition in our country in my country there are many traditions but here I would like to talk about the tradition that are very famous in our country that was a Diwali festival on that day many people burn the earth and pots on the Diwali festivals many people like to to burn the earth and pots on that they because that is our tradition so on that day people like to burn the earth and pots so on that day from my childhood I have seen that many people like to burn the earth and pots on the Diwali festival but I don't know why they burn the earth and pots on that Diwali festival so due to this phenomena I don't understand why they burn this but I guess that in my 8th class my teacher told me that the story of why people burn the earth and pots on the Diwali festival they she is told me that on that they many people like to burn the earth and pots because on that day Hindu Lord Ramchandra ji came back to has motherland Ayodhya after the exile of 14 years with his beloved wife was Sita and younger brother Lakshman so due to this many people like to point the paperlike burnt the earth in Kingdom later on this edition was a practice of the the people this this was celebrated with zeal and pop after that this was a tradition in our country so nowadays a Sikh families are also celebrated this tradition because on that day Shri Guru Hargobind ji sad free from prison along with 52 Kings by Mughal Emperor Jahangir and therefore in the tradition was actually a symbol of happiness good people of all caste is so nowadays this is also celebrated by the Sikh families on that day many Sikh families burn the earth and pots on that day so this is the tradition that I think the most popular band of my country
I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
a
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tradition
in our
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country
in my
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country
there are
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many
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traditions
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but
here I would like to talk about the
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tradition
that are
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in our
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country
that was a Diwali
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festival
on that day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
the
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earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
on the Diwali
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
on that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
our
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tradition
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so
on that day
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people
like to
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burn
the
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earth
and
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pots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on that day from my childhood I have
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seen
that
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
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burn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
on the Diwali
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't know why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
on that Diwali
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
due to
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘phenomena’. Did you mean “these”?
this
phenomena I don't understand why they
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burn
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I guess that in my 8th
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class
my teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the story of why
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people
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burn
the
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earth
and
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pots
on the Diwali
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festival
they she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that on that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
like to
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burn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on that day Hindu Lord
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ramchandra
Possible spelling mistake found.
ji
came back to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “have”.
has
motherland Ayodhya after the exile of 14 years with his beloved wife was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sita
and younger brother
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lakshman
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
like to point the
Possible spelling mistake found.
paperlike
burnt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
in Kingdom later on this edition was a practice of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible typo: you repeated a word
this this
was celebrated
with zeal and pop after that this was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nowadays
The plural noun “families” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a Sikh family” or “Sikh families”?
a Sikh families
are
also
celebrated this
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tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on that day
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shri
Guru
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hargobind
Possible spelling mistake found.
ji
sad free from prison along with 52 Kings by Mughal Emperor Jahangir and
therefore
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
was actually a symbol of happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all caste is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
nowadays this is
also
celebrated by the Sikh families on that day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Sikh families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
on that day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most popular band of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
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IELTS essay Describe a tradition in your country

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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