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Modern learners are assumed to choose educational programs where they can use their electronic devices rather than traditional subjects.

Modern learners are assumed to choose educational programs where they can use their electronic devices rather than traditional subjects. Whether a technology based program of studies should replace traditional curriculum is a contentious question, I believe that computer based education has the brightest future. Moreover, studying technologies unveil unique opportunities for building your future career. This essay will examine both positive and negative aspects of this issue and will give explanations why it happens so. To begin with, despite the fact that traditional way of learning is fundamental to the current education system, modern companies, probably from a wide number of sectors, need workers to have strong computer skills, even at junior positions. Furthermore, such technological giants as Google or Apple require specific knowledge in computer science. As a result, students understand that programming skills likewise general computer administration is significant investment in their future career. Besides that, such names as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs motivate young learners to pick computer science in their school schedule or University curriculum. On the contrary, when students do not pay attention to the traditional subjects, such as math or literature, it might make a student imbalanced. Yet, likewise strong computer skills modern companies even such giants as Apple or Google are looking for personal and communication skills and basic subjects are a good fit for this role. Also, students have to have a strong basic background to progress in computer science, especially in math. In conclusion, technological progress requires businesses to use more technologies in their daily operations. Thus, students have to pay more attention to subjects that studying technologies to succeed in their future career.
Modern learners
are assumed
to choose educational programs where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their electronic devices
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
based program of studies should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
curriculum is a contentious question, I believe that computer based education has the brightest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Moreover
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
unveil unique opportunities for building your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
career. This essay will examine both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this issue and will give explanations why it happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
way of learning is fundamental to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
education system, modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
probably
from a wide number of sectors, need workers to have strong computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, even at junior positions.
Furthermore
, such technological giants as Google or Apple require specific knowledge in computer science.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
understand that programming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
likewise
general computer administration is significant investment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
career.
Besides
that, such names as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs motivate young learners to pick computer science in their school schedule or University curriculum.

On the contrary
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as math or literature, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
imbalanced.
Yet
,
likewise
strong computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
even such giants as Apple or Google are looking for personal and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fit for this role.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have a strong basic background to progress in computer science,
especially
in math.

In conclusion
, technological progress requires businesses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in their daily operations.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to succeed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
career.

IELTS essay Modern learners are assumed to choose educational programs where they can use their electronic devices rather than traditional subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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