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In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food | Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample

In certain countries people are facing too many health issues due to excessive consumption of fast food. Some people are of the view that to bring this in control the government ought to increase the tax on such food items. However, I completely disagree with this view as I feel that imparting health related knowledge to the citizens and banning hazardous food items are the best ways to deal with this problem. Undoubtedly, consuming too much fast food leads to many health related concerns. To tackle this, the government has to step in and impart education to the citizens regarding the amount of fast food they can eat and its ill effects rather than imposing higher tax as it will increase the burden on middle class people. To illustrate, in most of the countries about 65% of the population consists of middle class and if the state imposes higher taxes on any food item they will be the most affected lot. Therefore educating people of all class about the health issues arising out of junk food consumption is more feasible. Fast food contains certain ingredients which are extremely harmful to the human body. Such ingredients should be banned by the government to deal with the health problems arising out of its consumption. This step can eradicate the problem from its root cause. For example, Ajinomoto is one such ingredient which is extensively used in fast food preparations. Health specialists consider it as the slow poison to the human body and it also causes cancer. This kind of food substances used in fast food should be put on the banned list. This measure will be more successful than increasing the tax on fast food. In conclusion, I firmly believe that imposing tax will not help much in solving the health issues arising out of excessive consumption of fast food as it will not address the root cause of the issue; rather it would put more economic pressure on poor and middle class sections of the society.
In certain countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
due to excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that to bring this in control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items.
However
, I completely disagree with this view as I feel that imparting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related knowledge to the citizens and banning hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items are the best ways to deal with this problem.

Undoubtedly
, consuming too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related concerns. To tackle this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
step in and impart education to the citizens regarding the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they can eat and its ill effects
rather
than imposing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
as it will increase the burden on middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, in most of the countries about 65% of the population consists of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and if the state imposes higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
item they will be the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
lot.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
arising out of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
is more feasible.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains certain ingredients which are
extremely
harmful to the human body. Such ingredients should
be banned
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems arising out of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
. This step can eradicate the problem from its root cause.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajinomoto
is one such ingredient which is
extensively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
specialists consider it as the slow poison to the human
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
body and
it
also
causes cancer. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
substances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be put
on the banned list. This measure will be more successful than increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
much in solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
arising out of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as it will not address the root cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
;
rather
it would put more economic pressure on poor and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
sections of the society.

IELTS essay In Some Countries An Increasing Number Of People Are Suffering From Health Problems As A Result Of Eating Too Much Fast Food | Band 8 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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