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Describe a time when you shared something with others You should say What you shared? Who you shared with? Why you shared it? And explain how you felt about sharing it?

Describe a time when you shared something with others You should say What you shared? Who you shared with? Why you shared it? And explain how you felt about sharing it? q5yDG
Well, sharing is the way to make feel others that you care for them and it really helps in strengthening the bonding between two people. Here I would like to talk about my experience sharing my room with my younger brother. I still remember I was in 8th when I got my personal room and I was so happy about it as now I could have my own personal space. I always used to keep it spic and span. But after few months, my parents said that I have to share my room with my little brother. I was quite disappointed to hear as I didn’t want to compromise my privacy. But my mother made me understand the importance of sharing and convinced me to do the same. It took me few days to adjust with my brother but soon we started to enjoy each other’s company. Together we used to watch TV, listening music, play board games and study till late. I must say by sharing room we realized we have so much in common. In fact, in little time we became so much comfortable with each other that we could share even personal belongings. Although, we sometimes used to have conflicts regarding cleanliness as unlike me he is not much concerned about it. However, with my influence, he too become a tidy person. Before sleeping we used to read books together and share our feeling and our secrets that we could share with our parents due to the fear and this thing really improved our relationship to the next level. Conclusion, I am grateful to my mom who taught me the lesson and significance of sharing and now I don’t hesitate to share things with others.
Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
feel others that you care for them and it
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in strengthening the bonding between two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Here I would like to talk about my experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
with my younger brother.

I
still
remember I was in 8th when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my personal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
room and
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy about it as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I could have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal space. I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it spic and span.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after few months, my parents said that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
with my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother. I was quite disappointed to hear as I didn’t want to compromise my privacy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my mother made me understand the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
and convinced me to do the same. It took me few days to adjust with my brother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to enjoy each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Together we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, listening music, play board games and study till late. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
we realized we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in common. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time we became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much comfortable with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
that we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
even personal belongings.

Although, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have conflicts regarding cleanliness as unlike me he is not much concerned about it.
However
, with my influence, he
Did you mean "to become"?
too become
a tidy person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
sleeping we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to read books together and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
our feeling and our secrets that we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
with our parents due to the fear and this thing
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our relationship to the
next
level.

Conclusion, I am grateful to my mom who taught me the lesson and significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I don’t hesitate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
things with others.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when you shared something with others You should say What you shared? Who you shared with? Why you shared it? And explain how you felt about sharing it?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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