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Describe a time when you saw a child behaved badly in public.

Describe a time when you saw a child behaved badly in public. 6dYGK
I'm going to talk about a situation when I and my family went to the Keruen city in Marwin boutique where were for sale toys or books and I wanted to buy a book named as Necronomicon. Then there were the preschool-age boy and his mother where the first one was disappointed about the new purchase and wanted another toy. He cried out loud, rolling on the floor while other customers were annoyed, leaving the shop. After noticing it his mother was trying to calm down aggressively her son, but couldn't handle it. Fortunately, it wasn't continued for long, and the shop assistant came and settled the situation by gently talking with him. I haven't heard, but I think he promised him that he will give this toy after his shift as a gift for sitting quietly. Surprisingly, the child had stopped crying and answered to his promise positively. Apart from it, I was shocked that still nowadays children are so sentimental because I today's youth have wise thinking, but nevertheless, I was amazed that there are up to now exist kind persons, that can temperamentally resolve such situations without any anger.
I'm going to talk about a situation when I and my family went to the
Keruen
city in
Marwin
boutique where were for sale toys or books and I wanted to
buy
a book named as
Necronomicon
. Then there were the preschool-age boy and his mother where the
first
one
was disappointed
about the new
purchase
and wanted another toy. He cried out loud, rolling on the floor while other customers
were annoyed
, leaving the shop. After noticing it his mother was trying to calm down
aggressively
her son,
but
couldn't handle it.
Fortunately
, it wasn't continued for long, and the shop assistant came and settled the situation by
gently
talking with him. I haven't heard,
but
I
think
he promised him that he will give this toy after his shift as a gift for sitting
quietly
.
Surprisingly
, the child had
stopped
crying and answered to his promise
positively
. Apart from it, I
was shocked
that
still
nowadays children are
so
sentimental
because
I
today
's youth have wise thinking,
but
nevertheless
, I
was amazed
that there are up to
now
exist kind persons, that can
temperamentally
resolve such situations without any anger.
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IELTS essay Describe a time when you saw a child behaved badly in public.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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