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people were traveling with ships which took so long in the past, now traveling between two continents are easier with planes and could take 1 hour

people were traveling with ships which took so long in the past, now traveling between two continents are easier with planes and could take 1 hour LlPBG
People were always interested in traveling from one place to another. it is said that one of the most famous thing, that the ancient Egyptian were famous for was trading, despite the fact of being highly famous for the trading, they were greatly famous for building ships, since the first engineer was Egyptian, they could almost build everything with ships. but ships now aren't sufficient thanks to how the world has been connected. People now are searching for better ways, faster, and amusing. So it is a fantastic idea to develope our ways of traveling. In 20th century the ship was mainly the only method of traveling from one continent to another, for example the famous Titanic which was one of the most famous ships. Titanic was a huge ship. unfortunately, the ship has sunk because of an ice mountain which was a disaster thanks to the numerious number of people who were aboard and had died to this accident. So the world had to turn to another method to make traveling around the world easier and simpler, and inspired by birds, scientists finally found a way to invent the planes. with the invention of the plane, leaving one continent to another. planes are not only faster, but also easier and conforting. Also, it is said that the accidents that are occurred by the planes are greately fewer than the ships, not to mention that ships were also taking huge number of hours, even days to travel from one continent to another. it took days to travel from the pacific ocean to USA. Thanks to the slow speed of the ships, even trading was slower and took days to trade goods, since the ancient Egyptians who took a lot of months to trade goods, which are the main economic source of the old Egypt. Now planes are even widely used for the purpose of trading and traveling between large spaces. In conclusion, humans technologies are developed and a new methods are created to travel between continents. and as it is said revently too, world is now a small village that people can meet anyone in any hour thanks to this spectacular invention!
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People
were always interested in traveling from one place to another.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is said
that one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Please check whether a plural form of 'thing' should be used.
thing
, that the ancient Egyptian were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
, despite the fact of being
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
, they were
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
for building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
, since the
first
engineer was Egyptian, they could almost build everything with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
aren't sufficient thanks to how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
been connected
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
are searching for better ways, faster, and amusing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is a fantastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
our ways of traveling. In 20th century the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ship
was
mainly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method of traveling from one continent to another,
for example
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Titanic which was one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
. Titanic was a huge
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ship
.
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unfortunately
, the
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ship
has sunk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an ice mountain which was a disaster thanks to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
numerious
number of
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people
who were aboard and had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
to this accident.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
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world
had to turn to another method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
traveling around the
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world
easier and simpler, and inspired by birds, scientists
finally
found a way to invent the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
the invention of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, leaving one continent to another.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
planes
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
easier and
Possible spelling mistake found.
conforting
.
Also
, it
is said
that the accidents that
are occurred
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
greately
fewer than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
, not to mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
were
also
taking huge number of hours, even days to travel from one continent to another.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
took days to travel from the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
pacific ocean
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the USA".
to USA
.

Thanks to the slow speed of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ships
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
was slower and took days to trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, since the ancient Egyptians who took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
months to trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which are the main economic source of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Egypt.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are even
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
and traveling between large spaces.

In conclusion
, humans technologies
are developed
and a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "method"?
methods
are created
to travel between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
as it
is said
Possible spelling mistake found.
revently
too,
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world
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
anyone in any hour thanks to this spectacular invention!
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IELTS essay people were traveling with ships which took so long in the past, now traveling between two continents are easier with planes and could take 1 hour

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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