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Describe a time in the last two years when you had to defend your opinion. What did you do? Why?

Describe a time in the last two years when you had to defend your opinion. What did you do? Why? 0wjl1
Recently about one month ago I have applied for volunteering and there appeared a question why I should not be a volunteer? And there were two person my mother and brother who were not agree. Both of them considered volunteering as a waste of time. My mother said instead of it you could prepare for biology. At the same time my brother thought that I want to go because of certificate and add that there you would not get any benefits for you. They will do only there works on you. At the six or seven grade once my cousin told me about volunteering and I got really curious about it. Then I made a lot of research on who are volunteers and what are they doing. So now I understand that being a volunteer actually not about wasting time. It's about how I can make our society, town, city or world a better place by our small contribution's on it. It's all about making new friends, peers which want to share knowledge experience and skills, who want to develop themselves from various angles and those who do not want to stay in one place. By becoming a volunteer I will acquire different skills as public speaking, critical thinking, team working, problem solving I said to my mother. These are thing which I would also need at university not only there but in my daily life too mom. Then she looked at me for a while. I had seen through her face how her opinion had changed. I told her all these only because I had a huge passion if it comes to volunteering.
Recently about one month ago I have applied for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
and there appeared a question why I should not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
? And there were two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
my mother and brother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
.

Both of them considered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
as a waste of time. My mother said
instead
of it you could prepare for biology. At the same time my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certificate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that there you would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any benefits for you. They will do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
there
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "work"?
works
on you.

At the six or seven grade once my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
really
curious about it. Then I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
and what are they doing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I understand that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
actually not about wasting time. It's about how I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our society, town, city or world a better place by our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contribution's on it. It's all about making new friends, peers which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to share knowledge experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to develop themselves from various angles and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to stay in one place. By becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
I will acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as public speaking, critical thinking, team working, problem solving I said to my mother. These are thing which I would
also
need at university not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my daily life too mom. Then she looked at me for a while. I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
through her face how her opinion had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
her all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had a huge passion if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
.
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IELTS essay Describe a time in the last two years when you had to defend your opinion. What did you do? Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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