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Describe a sports person you admire.

Describe a sports person you admire. PkK9p
I think everyone will have an idol who is a sports person, because sport gives us good health, and we can look to them to motivate ourselves. And I'm really into football, so the person I admire is Leo Messi, one of the best football players in the world. Messi is a little shorter than his teammates, but he is definitely taller than me. He has a rather long beard, an extremely high bridge of his nose and he is quite handsome and also quite funny. He plays football, and he's a legend in the football world. He received many great football accolades and trophies throughout his career.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone will have an idol who is a sports person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sport gives us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health, and we can look to them to motivate ourselves.

And I'm
really
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the person I admire is Leo Messi, one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
players in the world.

Messi is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
shorter than his teammates,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is definitely taller than me. He has a
rather
long beard, an
extremely
high bridge of his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nose and
he is quite handsome and
also
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
.

He plays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
, and he's a legend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
world.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
accolades and trophies throughout his career.
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IELTS essay Describe a sports person you admire.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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