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describe a sport event you watched or attended

describe a sport event you watched or attended 53D0n
It was about 9 years ago when I went to the annual sports day of school. It was a very grand event; more than 600 students were participating in different games. I also had to attend it because my cousin was playing in the hockey team. I had come to watch the hockey match because I wanted to support my cousin. It was a magnificent event. Things were organized incredibly well and the head boy of the school was organizing everything by himself. I was really impressed by the look of the event and it would not be wrong to compare the event to Olympics. There was a massive display of fireworks at the beginning of the hockey match and then the teams came for the match. I must say that it was a very interesting encounter. The best of the sports event was when my cousin scored the goal. He had been working really hard for to get a place in the team, and when he used this opportunity in the best way by scoring the only goal of the match. The entire crowd was cheering for my cousin and it was a moment to cherish. I was feeling proud of my cousin and I realized that he was not celebrated person at the school. After the match was finished I congratulated my cousin and I told him that the entire sports event was a blast and I have enjoyed a lot by coming to the event and by watching the match.
It was about 9 years ago when I went to the annual sports day of school. It was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
; more than 600 students were participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games. I
also
had to attend it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
was playing in the hockey team. I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the hockey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I wanted to support my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
. It was a magnificent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. Things
were organized
incredibly
well and the head boy of the school was organizing everything by himself. I was
really
impressed by the look of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and it would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
to Olympics. There was a massive display of fireworks at the beginning of the hockey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
and then the teams came for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting encounter.

The best of the sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
was when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
scored the goal. He had been working
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a place in the team, and when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this opportunity in the best way by scoring the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
goal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
. The entire crowd was cheering for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
and it was a moment to cherish. I was feeling proud of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
and I realized that he was not celebrated person at the school. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
was finished
I congratulated my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him that the entire sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
was a blast and I have enjoyed a lot by coming to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and by watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
.
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IELTS essay describe a sport event you watched or attended

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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