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Describe a special occasion when you had a really enjoyable meal. You should say: what the occasion was for. • who was at the meal. • what was served, and you ate. • and explain why you found the meal so enjoyable. v.1

Describe a special occasion when you had a really enjoyable meal. You should say: what the occasion was for. • who was at the meal. • what was served, and you ate. • and explain why you found the meal so enjoyable. v. 1
It is true that these days, in many countries, children consume more fast food and snacks for comfort. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant impact serious on health issue as a whole. There are 3 main reasons why children like to eat fast foodstuff so much. Firstly, fast food or snacks are extremely attractive because of their delicious taste and smell that children are easily addicted to. Second, to save time when they have a lot of homework or other things that can be done, the fast food option is the smartest. Moreover, fried cooking is affordable and they only need to pay a little bit of money; especially middle-class students who don't have the money to eat at fancy restaurants. Cuisine preservatives and colouring additives, on the other hand, induce severe diseases such as neurological disorders, their own digestive system is compromised, and so on, if there is long-term over intake. Another disturbing problem that has to be addressed is the abundance of children who consume large quantities of calories from burgers, chips and dirt, heavy in fat and high sugar to deal with. Potential chance of obesity if they don't lower level. In conclusion, fast food is a big problem that affects a lot of children nowadays. Although they may look delicious and attractive at first, they are unlikely to have serious health consequences.
It is true that these days, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
consume more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and snacks for comfort. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant impact serious on health issue as a whole.

There are 3 main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
foodstuff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or snacks are
extremely
attractive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their delicious taste and smell that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
easily
addicted to. Second, to save time when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
homework or other things that can
be done
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
option is the smartest.
Moreover
, fried cooking is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affordable and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to pay a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of money;
especially
middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
students who don't have the money to eat at fancy restaurants.

Cuisine preservatives and
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
additives,
on the other hand
, induce severe diseases such as neurological disorders, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
digestive system
is compromised
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, if there is long-term over intake. Another disturbing problem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be addressed
is the abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who consume large quantities of calories from burgers, chips and dirt, heavy in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and high sugar to deal with. Potential chance of obesity if they don't lower level.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem that affects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays. Although they may look delicious and attractive at
first
, they are unlikely to have serious health consequences.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Describe a special occasion when you had a really enjoyable meal. You should say: what the occasion was for. • who was at the meal. • what was served, and you ate. • and explain why you found the meal so enjoyable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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