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Describe a short trip that you often take but you do not like

Describe a short trip that you often take but you do not like 1kwdN
The short trip, which I frequently take is traveling to the Tennis club where I am enrolling. Moreover, the club is located in the north of Tehran which lies a bit far away from my residence. So, I need to travel by private car two days a week to reach the club and it takes around one hour to reach my destination due to traffic congestion. Sometimes, due to bad weather, it takes much more time to reach. Additionally, there are several clubs near me but I chose that particular club as it is known for its excellence in amenities It also broadens my horizons and offers me an opportunity to encounter people from all walks of life. In addition, their tennis instructor specializes in tennis exercises and they usher throughout the course. Alternatively, I am not keen on this trip for various reasons, Firstly, it is an extremely boring trip since I travel there alone, secondly, getting stuck in traffic is a regular feature of this trip, and also my maximum time is consumed in commuting although I feel irritated at the end of the day as I reach home by traveling again my purpose keep drawing me back there.
The short
trip
, which I
frequently
take is traveling to the Tennis
club
where I am enrolling.
Moreover
, the
club
is located
in the north of Tehran which lies a bit far away from my residence.
So
, I need to travel by private car two days a week to
reach
the
club
and it takes around one hour to
reach
my destination due to traffic congestion.
Sometimes
, due to
bad
weather, it takes much more time to
reach
.
Additionally
, there are several
clubs
near me
but
I chose that particular
club
as it
is known
for its excellence in amenities It
also
broadens my horizons and offers me an opportunity to encounter
people
from all walks of life.
In addition
, their tennis instructor specializes in tennis
exercises and
they usher throughout the course.
Alternatively
, I am not keen on this
trip
for various reasons,
Firstly
, it is an
extremely
boring
trip
since I travel there alone,
secondly
, getting stuck in traffic is a regular feature of this
trip
, and
also
my maximum time
is consumed
in commuting although I feel irritated at the
end
of the day as I
reach
home by traveling again my purpose
keep
drawing me back there.
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IELTS essay Describe a short trip that you often take but you do not like

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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