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Describe a river, lake or sea which you likeYou should saywhat is the river lake or sea calledwhere is itand explain why you like it. v.1

Describe a river, lake or sea which you likeYou should saywhat is the river lake or sea calledwhere is itand explain why you like it. v. 1
In this techno-savvy era, the way of getting material is changing day by day, however it creates many issues. This essay will discuss the problems like lack of security and create the difference between the real and virtual situations, including the possible solutions as government regulations for cyber crimes and collaboration between parents and teachers. The two main issues of the Internet are security issues of personal information and make the difference between real and virtual reality. Firstly, the internet is not safe in the terms of safety, because one can steal the info to anyone. For example, most of the sources do not hide the personal data of users which will become the main reason behind the fraud and cyber crimes. Likewise, it shows the different face to the users from the actual world. For instance, the technology always gets familiar to the people from imagination earth, which is quite different from the reality of the nature. The two possible solutions which make this situation better is to make some rules, including with the collaboration between the teachers and the parents of the children. Although, the internet is a good source of knowledge, but the government should have to make some rules, so that the cyber crimes can be decreased. If the authority makes strict rules then each one has to follow those rules and this will help to reduce these frauds. Moreover, to stop the addictive of the technology, the parents and the teachers have to work together to overcome this problems. Because, children are the most addictive of the internet and if these both will worm together to divert the mind of the children to anywhere else and educated them that how they can use the technology in a proper way, then they will aware of this problem. To conclude, no doubt this is the technological era and it is the most popular way to spread knowledge all over the nature. But it has problem related to safety and imagination world. This discussed these both and provides some solution like strict laws and rules, including parents and teacher collaboration.
In this techno-savvy era, the way of getting material is changing day by day,
however
it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues. This essay will discuss the problems like lack of security and create the difference between the real and virtual situations, including the possible solutions as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
regulations for cyber crimes and collaboration between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.

The two main issues of the Internet are security issues of personal information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the difference between real and virtual reality.
Firstly
, the internet is not safe in the terms of safety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one can steal the info to anyone.
For example
, most of the sources do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
the personal data of users which will become the main reason behind the fraud and cyber crimes.
Likewise
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
face to the users from the actual world.
For instance
, the technology always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
familiar to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from imagination earth, which is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the reality of the nature.

The two possible solutions which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
this situation better is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, including with the collaboration between the teachers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of the children. Although, the internet is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the cyber crimes can
be decreased
. If the authority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
then each one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these frauds.
Moreover
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
The phrase 'the addictive of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the addictive of
the technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together to overcome
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, children are the most addictive of the internet and if these both will worm together to divert the mind of the children to anywhere else and educated them that how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
, then they will aware of this problem.

To conclude
, no doubt this is the technological era and it is the most popular way to spread knowledge all over the nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it has problem related to safety and imagination world. This discussed these both and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "solutions"?
solution
like strict laws and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teacher collaboration.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a river, lake or sea which you likeYou should saywhat is the river lake or sea calledwhere is itand explain why you like it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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