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describe a problem with the education system in your country

describe a problem with the education system in your country WY3Ke
Education is analyzed as being an important role in the society The education system in Iran is divided into two main levels: primary education and high-school education. All children spend six years of their lives at primary level from ages six to 12 and attend high school from ages 12 to 18. . . . There are many free public schools as well as private schools with high tuition fees. Well, Iran has a high literacy rate by regional standards, and in comparison to many other countries at similar levels of development, is a very educated society. You know, Our country follows the British education system, so it is mostly revolving around lot of research work instead of practical. However, in recent times, with coming of Internet and smart classes, there has been a considerable shift towards practical, although it still remains research oriented at the fundamental level. The first difference between the educational system of Iran and the USA is that in Iran science materials in the high schools include university courses of the USA. . . . Moreover, there is a university entrance exam in Iran that takes place each year in the summer, which includes all material of four years of high school. Allright, I think each teacher has a different style of teaching which may not work well for all students. Frankly a perfect teacher doesn’t exist. However, there are two things that all teachers should aim to achieve, which are knowledge and inspiration. Teachers should be able to provide accurate knowledge and inspire students to study. The latter is sometimes very difficult but they should at least try. Finally, to have a good education system, the society and government must work as whole, because the future of society and progress of country is comparatively reflected by the success of students in their education.
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Education
is analyzed
as being an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the society

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in Iran
is divided
into two main levels: primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and high-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. All children spend six years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at primary level from ages six to 12 and attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
from ages 12 to 18.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
free public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as well
as private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
tuition fees.

Well, Iran has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
literacy rate by regional standards, and
in comparison
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other countries at similar levels of development, is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
educated society.

You know, Our country follows the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
mostly
revolving around lot of research work
instead
of practical.
However
, in recent times, with coming of Internet and smart classes, there has been a considerable shift towards practical, although it
still
remains research oriented at the fundamental level.

The
first
difference between the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of Iran and the USA is that in Iran science materials in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
include university courses of the USA.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Moreover
, there is a university entrance exam in Iran that takes place each year in the summer, which includes all material of four years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
school.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Allright
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
style of teaching which may not work well for all students.
Frankly
a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
doesn’t exist.
However
, there are two things that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should aim to achieve, which are knowledge and inspiration.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
should be able to provide accurate knowledge and inspire students to study. The latter is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should at least try.

Finally
, to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work as whole,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the future of society and progress of country is
comparatively
reflected by the success of students in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay describe a problem with the education system in your country

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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