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People are more aware of fashion nowadays and it continues to be a huge business, with a lot of advertising involved and millions of dollars of being paid to models. Discuss whether this is a good or bad trend. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

People are more aware of fashion nowadays and it continues to be a huge business, with a lot of advertising involved and millions of dollars of being paid to models. Discuss whether this is a good or bad trend. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. D2jKm
Today, fashion is the topic that gives rise to a growing controversy among people. Some argue whether to run after/follow fashion is vital or not. From my personal perspective, I am against to this point as its tremendous pouring money as well as a threat to the detrimental of young generation’ snobbish. To commence with, fashion is always a result of huge corporate company and hence is out of reach for the majority of people. Take, for example, Zara, a well-known company that advertises its up-to-date fashionable outfits on TV and on the covers of fashion magazines, which costs a considerable amount of money. some wealthy people might find it easy to afford, but it is raising worry in terms of the general population. On the other hand, fashion industry poses a threat to young generation’s bad habits. Some people fritter away a great deal of expenses buying the latest items just to bring the feeling of superior and fashionable. In some negative scenarios, it may drive people down a path of wrongdoing in order to buy the most up-to-date clothes and emulate celebrities' false celebrity. In a nutshell, keeping all the aforementioned into consideration, I am I full conviction that fashion has both benefits and negative impacts on people. Deep is people consider how to wear the most comfortable clothes to be the best version of themselves.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is the topic that gives rise to a growing controversy among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue whether to run after/follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is vital or not. From my personal perspective, I am against to this point as its tremendous pouring money
as well
as a threat to the detrimental of young generation’ snobbish.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is always a result of huge corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
hence
is out of reach for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Take,
for example
, Zara, a well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that advertises its up-to-date fashionable outfits on TV and on the covers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
magazines, which costs a considerable amount of money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might find it easy to afford,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is raising worry in terms of the general population.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry poses a threat to young generation’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fritter away a great deal of expenses buying the latest items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to bring the feeling of superior and fashionable. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
scenarios, it may drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
down a path of wrongdoing in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the most up-to-date clothes and emulate celebrities' false celebrity.

In a nutshell, keeping all the aforementioned into consideration, I am I full conviction that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has both benefits and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Deep is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider how to wear the most comfortable clothes to be the best version of themselves.
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IELTS essay People are more aware of fashion nowadays and it continues to be a huge business, with a lot of advertising involved and millions of dollars of being paid to models. Discuss whether this is a good or bad trend. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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