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Women should go to work or stay at home

Women should go to work or stay at home 9r1Or
Personally, I believe that women nowadays have right to take up jobs like men. Working outside home will bring a lot of benefits to both woman and their household. In this essay, I will mention some main reasons as following. The first reason I’d like to begin with is that modern women are more and more equal to men. Like the other gender, women also have the right to work and no one can prevent them from doing so. Working for livelihood or any other purpose is a human right. Men and women should have access to the same career opportunities. Therefore, inequality towards women should be stamped out to preserve their rights to work outside. A second reason which I could mention is that, financial independence is the most important factor that controls the quality of a woman’s life. Sitting at home, they often feel ashamed asking for money from their husbands. When women are earning, they can not only support their families but also give their kids a better future. The couple’s dual-income brings financial stability, allowing them to enjoy a better life together. Last but not least, woman will women could go to work in order to enjoy the working life outside the home. be a happier and satisfied. Several recent researches have shown that working women are less stressed out and anxious than non-working ladies. When going to work, women have more motivation and goals to develop themselves, which makes them feel happier. According to psychological studies, the mental health of sit-at-home ladies improve significantly when they start working outside the home. For the above-mentioned reasons, I believe that women should go to work for enjoying the working life outside the home. if woman wants to work, her family should support her without any complaints.
Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
nowadays have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to take up jobs like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
home will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
and their household. In this essay, I will mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main
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reasons
as following.

The
first
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reason
I’d like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with is that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more and more equal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Like the other gender,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for livelihood or any other purpose is a human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should have access to the same career opportunities.
Therefore
, inequality towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
be stamped
out to preserve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside.

A second
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reason
which I could mention is that, financial independence is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor that controls the quality of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Sitting at home, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel ashamed asking for money from their husbands. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are earning, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
support their families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give their kids a better future. The couple’s dual-income brings financial stability, allowing them to enjoy a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
together.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
could go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
a happier and satisfied. Several recent researches have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out and anxious than non-working ladies. When going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more motivation and goals to develop themselves, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel happier. According to psychological studies, the mental health of sit-at-home ladies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
significantly
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the home.

For the above-mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for enjoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, her family should support her without any complaints.
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IELTS essay Women should go to work or stay at home

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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