Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a previous unexpected problem on your way home from school that you had during your childhood or school years.

Describe a previous unexpected problem on your way home from school that you had during your childhood or school years. xxp2y
In 7th grade, my father bought me an electric bicycle. Because I'm afraid of traffic jams, I often go to school and return home by shortcut. That road is small and empty. My parents advised me not to go that route because it was very dangerous. I didn't take that advice. Until one day I took extra math classes in the evening and came home late, I continued on that road and was blocked by a strange man. I was panicking at that time, he said a lot but I couldn't remember all the words he said. I just remember him asking me to get off the e-bike and give him the keys. When I didn't agree, he glared menacingly. Fortunately, the uncle next to my house also passed the same road. I quickly shouted: "Daddy! ". Seeing someone coming, the other man got scared and left. He knew I was panicking so he brought me back to the house. As soon as I got home, I burst into tears and apologized to my parents for not listening to their advice. The incident caused her fear for a long time, on the other hand, through this incident, I also learned a valuable lesson for myself: not to go alone on an empty road AND should bring a phone phone when leaving the house.
In 7th grade, my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
me an electric bicycle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I'm afraid of traffic jams, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to school and return home by shortcut. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and empty. My parents advised me not to go that route
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. I didn't take that advice. Until one day I took extra math classes in the evening and came home late, I continued on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and
was blocked
by a strange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. I was panicking at that time, he said a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I couldn't remember all the words he said. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
remember him asking me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
off the e-bike and give him the keys. When I didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, he glared
menacingly
.
Fortunately
, the uncle
next
to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
also
passed the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. I
quickly
shouted:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
Daddy
!
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. Seeing someone coming, the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
scared and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. He knew I was panicking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he brought me back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
home, I burst into tears and apologized to my parents for not listening to their advice. The incident caused her fear for a long time,
on the other hand
, through this incident, I
also
learned a valuable lesson for myself: not to go alone on an empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
AND should bring a
Possible typo: you repeated a word
phone phone
when leaving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Describe a previous unexpected problem on your way home from school that you had during your childhood or school years.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts