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Describe a piece of equipment that is important in your home.

Describe a piece of equipment that is important in your home. JLqpE
I want to say that, thanks to science; we now live in a modern era that is full of benefits and convenient with cutting-edge technology. As a result, there is an abundance of equipment that assists us on a daily basis, and my family is no exception. We are definitely such technological enthusiasts that we buy a wide range of equipment and use it for a variety of purposes. If I had to pick one, I would say a brand-new laptop that I often use plays an important role in my home. It is a black-colored laptop by the Lenovo brand, and my father bought it for me last year. I would say with it being portable, I use it quite frequently. In the morning, I open it to read the news, listen to music, and complete some homework. In the afternoon and evening, I often join some online classes or watch movies. Anyway, it depends on the day. To be honest, this electronic device has aided me in a variety of ways, but the two main aspects are studying and entertaining myself. First, you know, we are in the grip of the Coronavirus pandemic, so our students can’t go to school and must learn at home through some applications like Zoom or Google Meeting. Therefore, my laptop has become valid more than ever, because I can attend online study classes with a large screen, a high-quality camera, and volume. Moreover, with the Internet available on this device, I can search for many websites and discover lots of information to finish my assignment and broaden my knowledge. Second, my laptop not only supports my study but also helps me amuse myself after a long period of learning. I am immersed in various genres of entertainment, from surfing the Internet, watching films, and playing games, to keeping in touch with my friends and relatives. Finally, because of its benefits, I consider it to be a piece of disposable equipment in this civilized society. You need to keep up with the times because the world is ever-evolving and computer skill is a must skill today. Once more, thanks to this top-notch device, I will preserve and utilize it wisely.
I want to say that, thanks to science; we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern era
that is
full of benefits and convenient with cutting-edge technology.
As a result
, there is an abundance of equipment that assists us on a daily basis, and my family is no exception. We are definitely such technological enthusiasts that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a wide range of equipment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for a variety of purposes. If I had to pick one, I would say a brand-new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in my home.

It is a black-colored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
by the Lenovo brand, and my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it for me last year. I would say with it being portable, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it quite
frequently
. In the morning, I open it to read the news, listen to music, and complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
homework. In the afternoon and evening, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
online classes or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies. Anyway, it depends on the day.

To be honest, this electronic device has aided me in a variety of ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the two main aspects are studying and entertaining myself.
First
, you know, we are in the grip of the Coronavirus pandemic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
our students can’t go to school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn at home through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications like Zoom or Google Meeting.
Therefore
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
has become valid more than ever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can attend online study classes with a large screen, a high-quality camera, and volume.
Moreover
, with the Internet available on this device, I can search for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites and discover lots of information to finish my assignment and broaden my knowledge. Second, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supports my study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me amuse myself after a long period of learning. I
am immersed
in various genres of entertainment, from surfing the Internet, watching films, and playing games, to keeping in touch with my friends and relatives.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its benefits, I consider it to be a piece of disposable equipment in this civilized society. You need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world is ever-evolving and computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Once more, thanks to this top-notch device, I will preserve and utilize it
wisely
.
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IELTS essay Describe a piece of equipment that is important in your home.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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