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Essay for scholarship application

Essay for scholarship application 11oJA
The Millenium Development Goals established by government proposing to be achieved by its departments and non-government organizations for the betterment of the people so as the country of Tonga as a whole. Education is one of the major concerns and the MDG`s main priority in struggling to promote the initiatives inaugurated by the Ministry of Education to achieve what have been stated in the MDG`s. In the education sector it is significant to nurture quality citizen for Tonga. Part of the process is to have effective teachers to facilitate and monitor the learning process that is executing in the classroom. Teachers need to upgrade and update their knowledge and wisdom to better solve and answer any dilemma encounter by the learners and give me as teacher confidence to better attempt any circumstances and overcome obstacles in the classroom. It is my plan to improve and uplift the knowledge that I have after teaching for years. I have witnessed from those years the lack of knowledge and skills that I already have and believe that this scholarship is an opportunity to enrich and upgrade my knowledge. My first choice is to undertake the Bachelor of Education majoring in English. This area is always the highest demand and the area which always have shortage of teachers in it in almost most of the government secondary schools. I have been teaching for many years in High School then to the Middle school ever since I have graduated from TIOE. I have seen and realized teachers overloaded with English classes. Small loads definitely improve the teaching of English in the classroom for better and constructive learning for students. I believe that excellent and experience English teacher will promote effective learning of student if teachers are trained with more knowledge and skills. There are other challenges but I believe that having an opportunity to improve my skills and knowledge would definitely solve any more challenges face by the Ministry in the near future. My second choice is a Bachelor in Science majoring in Biology and Chemistry is relevant with my teaching of Science. Again, this area is of great significance but upgrading of my knowledge will assist me in teaching these subjects exceptionally well in the classroom. I believe that this proposed study would be a vital asset of skills and knowledge for the country in enhancing the erudition and education of our country. I have married with children and I believe that studying in Tonga will definitely avoid any social problems that might cause by cultural shock in any institution overseas that may hinder my studies. If I will be given any opportunity to pursue further studies, I will do my utmost best to complete it here in Tonga and make use of what the scholarship has offered to whatever area that the government so as the scholarship will put me in but I understand that any auspicious prospect should embrace with lots of endurance, persistence and perseverance will produce excellent result.
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Millenium
Development Goals established by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
proposing to
be achieved
by its departments and non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organizations for the betterment of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the country of Tonga as a whole.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is one of the major concerns and the MDG`s main priority in struggling to promote the initiatives inaugurated by the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
to achieve what have
been stated
in the MDG`s. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector it is significant to nurture quality citizen for Tonga. Part of the process is to have effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to facilitate and monitor the learning process
that is
executing in the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
need to upgrade and update their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and wisdom to better solve and answer any dilemma encounter by the learners and give me as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
confidence to better attempt any circumstances and overcome obstacles in the classroom. It is my plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and uplift the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that I have after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
for years. I have witnessed from those years the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that I already have and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this scholarship is an opportunity to enrich and upgrade my knowledge.

My
first
choice is to undertake the Bachelor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
majoring in English. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is always the highest demand and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
which always have shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in it in almost most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
secondary schools. I have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in High School then to the Middle school ever since I have graduated from
Possible spelling mistake found.
TIOE
. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and realized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
overloaded with English classes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
loads definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of English in the classroom for better and constructive learning for students. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that excellent and experience English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
will promote effective learning of student if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are trained
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. There are other challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that having an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
would definitely solve any more challenges face by the Ministry in the near future. My second choice is a Bachelor in Science majoring in Biology and Chemistry is relevant with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of Science. Again, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is of great significance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
upgrading of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will assist me in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
these subjects
exceptionally
well in the classroom.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this proposed study would be a vital asset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
for the country in enhancing the erudition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of our country. I have married with children and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that studying in Tonga will definitely avoid any social problems that might cause by cultural shock in any institution overseas that may hinder my studies. If I will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any opportunity to pursue
further
studies, I will do my
The extreme adjective for good is "wonderful", "fantastic", "superb", "perfect", or "excellent".
utmost best
to complete it here in Tonga and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of what the scholarship has offered to whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the scholarship will put me in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I understand that any auspicious prospect should embrace with lots of endurance, persistence and perseverance will produce excellent result.
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IELTS essay Essay for scholarship application

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
498 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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