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Describe a person who became your friend

Last year I visited summer camp. This place is such a nice opportunity to make acquaintance – so that’s what I did. Sophie was the only girl I shared my room with. The first thing that caught my eye was her long blond curly hair. Her appearance was quite unusual – big hazel eyes, aquiline nose and plump lips. At first she seemed a bit narcissistic because all she ever talked about was herself. But first impressions can be deceptive. So when I got to know her better, she turned out to be someone you could have a heart-to-heart talk with. Sophie is reliable, funny and witty. She’s also a very sociable and talkative person. The only thing that bothered me was her gullibility - she seemed to trust everyone she met and was willing to believe any story. She’s a nice person and I’m happy to have such friend.
Last year I visited summer camp. This place is such a nice opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
acquaintance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that’s what I did.

Sophie was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
girl I shared my room with. The
first
thing that caught my eye was her long blond curly hair. Her appearance was quite unusual
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hazel eyes, aquiline nose and plump lips. At
The comma is probably missing here: “first, she”.
first she
seemed a bit narcissistic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all she ever talked about was herself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
first
impressions can be deceptive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know her better, she turned out to be someone you could have a heart-to-heart talk with. Sophie is reliable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
and witty. She’s
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sociable and talkative person. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that bothered me was her gullibility
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
she seemed to trust everyone she met and was willing to believe any story.

She’s a nice
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
I’m happy to have such friend.

IELTS essay Describe a person who became your friend

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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