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describe a job that you want to do in the future

describe a job that you want to do in the future gbggO
Everyone has their dream job and so do I. In the future, I want to become a marketing manager. I think this is the right job for me because I'm outgoing, patient, organized and I love being a leader. Marketing is about promoting the company and making sure that customers can find products that meet their needs. I will have to use my marketing experience to design marketing campaigns and offer pricing strategies so that our company can compete better in the marketplace. I am in charge of the whole Marketing department in which I supervise and direct the work for everyone. In addition, I will also work in close connection to the Advertising, Sales and PR managers and report directly to my general manager. Becoming a marketing manager isn’t easy but I think it’s worth it. I hope that one day I will be a talented marketing manager.
Everyone has their dream job and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I. In the future, I want to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the right job for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I'm outgoing, patient, organized and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
being a leader.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marketing
is about promoting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and making sure that customers can find products that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs. I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
experience to design
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
campaigns and offer pricing strategies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can compete better in the marketplace. I am in charge of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marketing
department in which I supervise and direct the work for everyone.
In addition
, I will
also
work in close connection to the Advertising, Sales and PR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
managers
and report
directly
to my general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
. Becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
isn’t easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s worth it. I hope that one day I will be a talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
.
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IELTS essay describe a job that you want to do in the future

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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