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Describe a global problem that is glarming.

Describe a global problem that is glarming. 2lAlo
Speaking of environmental issues, I should own up to the fact that air pollution is the most lethal one. In the first place, this air you are breathing may be killing you or at least, it may exacerbate many already existing diseases such as asthma, bronchitis and allergies. In the second place, those who are most vulnerable to problems of air pollution are the elderly and children. Pollution has a direct link to pulmonary problems in developing fetuses, and damage to the immune system in adults. That’s why I believe it is highly imperative for governments to take steps to reduce this problem. To prevent air pollution the government must make and implement strict laws and rules so that the citizens abide by those laws. The citizens have to realise the air pollution must be prevented for their own benefits and for a healthy life. The number of industries and vehicles necessary for our lives cannot be controlled, but we must make sure that the CO2 and other harmful gas those vehicles and industries are omitting are not beyond the borderline. We need to plant more trees and make the environment greener to prevent the problems related to the air.
Speaking of environmental issues, I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
up to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the most lethal one. In the
first
place, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
you are breathing may be killing you or at least, it may exacerbate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
already existing diseases such as asthma, bronchitis and allergies. In the second place, those who are most vulnerable to problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are the elderly and children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
has a direct link to pulmonary problems in developing fetuses, and damage to the immune system in adults. That’s why I believe it is
highly
imperative for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and implement strict laws and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the citizens abide by those laws. The citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and for a healthy life.

The number of industries and vehicles necessary for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
cannot
be controlled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the CO2 and other harmful gas those vehicles and industries are omitting are not beyond the borderline. We need to plant more trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the environment greener to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the problems related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
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IELTS essay Describe a global problem that is glarming.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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