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Describe a family member that you like. How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is. and explain why you like this person. v.1

Describe a family member that you like. How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is. and explain why you like this person. v. 1
At the outset of the millennium, there is a debatable issue that academic training is necessary for children instead of cooking and other curricular activities. A lion's share of society favour it, however, the rest goes averse it. In the following paragraph, we would elucidate my perspective along with an apt example. I see eye to eye, with the central idea that ample awareness about study is necessary for students for getting good grades in exams or clear the exam. There are myriads of reason in this matter, firstly, information about schooling helps in career. Thus, grades help offsprings to get admission in their desirable universities or school, which has profound impact on their future. Secondly, they learn the manner and compete in examination with others, get the confidence if seating between the educated persons. If children do not engage them in learning literacy, then they would not be able to clear the exam with higher score. I would like to quote an epitome that a survey conducted by the Hindustan newspaper before 6 months regarding the result in exams then result shows that the children who spend a lot of time in schooling course they gets a higher grade as compared to those students who do not have enough skills about literacy. However, numerous of people believe that extracurricular activities such as cooking, dressing or many more are also essential for children with academic education in order to fully development of children. Moreover, skills apart from examination help to compete with others in extra activities such as if society organise a new year party and it is a condition that children make at least one dish for a party then it is very gloomy situated for those who do not have cooking familiarity. To conclude, I am the opinion that schooling information is must instead of extra skills because with the help of study they achieve each and everything in their life. However, little bit information about the rest of the skills are also important. Children should spend more time on learning, academic skills along with some updated extracurricular skills.
At the outset of the millennium, there is a debatable issue that academic training is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of cooking and other curricular activities. A lion's share of society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
it,
however
, the rest goes averse it. In the following paragraph, we would elucidate my perspective along with an apt example.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye, with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that ample awareness about study is necessary for students for getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in exams or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the exam. There are myriads of reason in this matter,
firstly
, information about schooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in career.
Thus
, grades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in their desirable universities or school, which has profound impact on their future.
Secondly
, they learn the manner and compete in examination with others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the confidence if seating between the educated persons. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not engage them in learning literacy, then they would not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the exam with higher score. I would like to quote an epitome that a survey conducted by the Hindustan newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
6 months regarding the result in exams then result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in schooling course they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "get"
gets
a higher grade as compared to those students who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
about literacy.

However
, numerous of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that extracurricular activities such as cooking, dressing or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are
also
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with academic education in order to
fully
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
apart from examination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to compete with others in extra activities such as if society
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a new year party and it is a condition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
at least one dish for a party then it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
gloomy situated for those who do not have cooking familiarity.

To conclude
, I am the opinion that schooling information is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
instead
of extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of study they achieve each and everything in their life.
However
,
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
information about the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should spend more time on learning, academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
updated extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a family member that you like. How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is. and explain why you like this person. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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