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Being a celebrity can bring many benefits and problems. What are the problems and what solutions can be taken? v.1

Being a celebrity can bring many benefits and problems. What are the problems and what solutions can be taken? v. 1
Undoubtedly, being an eminent person is a boon for a human being. Irrespective of its advantages, there are drawbacks to this blessing. In the following paragraphs, I will explicate the negatives along with the initiatives to eradicate these. To inaugurate with, disclose of privacy of the celebrities is the prominent one, as they are liked by people and the viewers are curious to know about the personal life of them. Media, thus, telecast the gossips and sometimes show the fake news about them, to raise the television rating performance. As a result, it breaches their secrets and affect the personal lives of well known personalities such as fake news about the relationship of Ranbir Kappor which has caused depression to him for a long time. In addition, some actors or actresses have to wear expensive clothes and purchase costly vehicles, which are, many times, not affordable by them. In this way, they have to keep the likes of the public in priority rather than own and it can be stressful for them. For an example, Jiya Khan, who was a famous Bollywood actress, committed suicide as she was in depression due to the financial crisis. These are the negative aspects of establishing as a celebrity. Nevertheless, these issues can be overcome by taking note of the predicament by the broadcasting team and authority. The most importantly, the government must give the guidelines to the news channels to not show the false information about the stars and only telecast limited shows about their lives. As an impact, it would be handy in improving the image of them. Additionally, the audience must also understand that the famous personalities are also humans and they have the right to lead a simple lifestyle. Consequently, the known people would not have the pressure of a show off. In compendium, I want to reiterate that even though demerits are associated with the having status in the society, these can be addressed by taking some impactful steps
Undoubtedly
, being an eminent person is a boon for a human being. Irrespective of its advantages, there are drawbacks to this blessing. In the following paragraphs, I will explicate the negatives along with the initiatives to eradicate these.

To inaugurate with, disclose of privacy of the celebrities is the prominent one, as they
are liked
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the viewers are curious to know about the personal life of them. Media,
thus
, telecast the gossips and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the fake news about them, to raise the television rating performance.
As a result
, it breaches their secrets and affect the personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of well known personalities such as fake news about the relationship of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranbir
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kappor
which has caused depression to him for a long time.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actors or actresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear expensive clothes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
costly vehicles, which are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, not affordable by them. In this way, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the likes of the public in priority
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and it can be stressful for them. For an example,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jiya
Khan, who was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Bollywood actress, committed suicide as she was in depression due to the financial crisis. These are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of establishing as a celebrity.

Nevertheless
, these issues can
be overcome
by taking note of the predicament by the broadcasting team and authority. The most
importantly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give the guidelines to the news channels to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
the false information about the stars and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
telecast limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As an impact, it would be handy in improving the image of them.
Additionally
, the audience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
understand that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities are
also
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
humans and
they have the right to lead a simple lifestyle.
Consequently
, the known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not have the pressure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off.

In compendium, I want to reiterate that
even though
demerits
are associated
with the having status in the society, these can
be addressed
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impactful steps
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity can bring many benefits and problems. What are the problems and what solutions can be taken? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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