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1. Some people believe that studying at university or college is a route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discus both views. v.1

1. Some people believe that studying at university or college is a route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discus both views. v. 1
The similarity among nations is increasing considerably due to the same goods can be purchased anywhere globally. I think this is a positive development because there will be better economy and lowered transfer rates. There are a number of reasons this trend is optimistic. Firstly, these nations economy will be awesome. This is because these countries will give a maximum focus improving their products and services on their own since the same produce can be seen anywhere. Therefore, there will now be cash circulations within the nation. For example, a study shows that a country producing the same goods as other countries tends to have little risk of economical crisis. Another reason for this is that rate of transportation will be reduced drastically. These individuals will no longer opt in travelling to buy goods from other nationalities. China and USA, for instance, both involve in almost the same medical services, so the need of travelling to get medical attention by citizens is unwanted. Thus, travelling is on the low side if same produce can be purchased any place in the world. In conclusion, citizens can indulge in equal services in several locations around the globe thereby making countries similar. This has brought about a positive trend because it will cut off rate of travelling and improve the economy of countries.
The similarity among nations is increasing
considerably
due to the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
anywhere globally. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be better economy and lowered transfer rates.

There are a number of reasons this trend is optimistic.
Firstly
, these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
economy will be awesome. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will give a maximum focus improving their products and services on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
since the same produce can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
anywhere.
Therefore
, there will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be cash circulations within the nation.
For example
, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
producing the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tends to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
crisis.

Another reason for this is that rate of transportation will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
. These individuals will no longer opt in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from other nationalities. China and USA,
for instance
, both involve in almost the same medical services,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medical attention by citizens
is unwanted
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is on the low side if same produce can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
any place in the world.

In conclusion
, citizens can indulge in equal services in several locations around the globe thereby making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
similar. This has brought about a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay 1. Some people believe that studying at university or college is a route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discus both views. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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