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The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent what you agree or disagree? v.4

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. v. 4
We live in an age where people are independent and can do anything what they want in their life. There are many countries in the world who ban smoking in open place. Whereas, other people suggest that it would be justified if anyone want to smoke they can leave the zone. Nowadays, People are having a smoke in open space, sometimes in public places and to stop that government of different countries ban it in crowded areas. There are many reasons behind the strict action which was taken by government. Particularly, the main reason is smoke not only create bad effect to the person who consume it, but also it affects the person who stand beside him/her, so ultimately same side effects occur for both of them. Smoking produce hazardous effects on human, like, cancer, heart problems, asthma and many more. Beside, smokers gradually pollute our environment as its product carbon dioxide, so it increases the content of carbon dioxide in the air, so ultimately air pollution occurs. Even though, Young people get motivated by seeing someone consuming cigarette in open space and for showing others that they are smart they start to have it. So for all these reasons concern department of the countries announce illegal to have it in public areas. It is undoubtedly true that, it is not possible in a one day to stop people from having cigarettes. In order that, if anyone want to have it, then he/she can have it, but not general crowd zone. If government announce it illegal, then responsible authorities must construct some smoking spaces where people can have it. In summary, we can say that smoking is injurious in all points of view, if anyone wants to live a happy life, they must leave that habit. Despite the fact that, it is not possible to leave smoking instantly, so they might be having this thing in a selected zone.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are independent and can do anything what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
in their life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the world who ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in open place. Whereas, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that it would
be justified
if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to smoke they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the zone.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are having a smoke in open space,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in public places and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries ban it in crowded areas. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind the strict action which
was taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Particularly
, the main reason is smoke not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect to the person who consume it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it affects the person who stand beside him/her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ultimately
same side effects occur for both of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "produces".
produce
hazardous effects on human, like, cancer, heart problems, asthma and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

Beside, smokers
gradually
pollute our environment as its product carbon dioxide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it increases the content of carbon dioxide in the air,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ultimately
air pollution occurs.
Even though
, Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated by seeing someone consuming cigarette in open space and for showing others that they are smart they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to have it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for all these reasons concern department of the countries announce illegal to have it in public areas.

It is
undoubtedly
true that, it is not possible in a one day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from having cigarettes. In order that, if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to have it, then he/she can have it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not general crowd zone. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
announce it illegal, then responsible authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
construct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
spaces where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have it.

In summary, we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is injurious in all points of view, if anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
that habit. Despite the fact that, it is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
instantly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might be having this thing in a selected zone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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