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Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

Nowadays the number of meal desires and demands are growing up in the world. What does this affect to people? Taking care about supply of food from international communities is enough? First of all, the people who are fat don't stop eating much, as a result, it leads to improving the proportion of food demands. However, the new types of food are increasing, as well as, the eating centers or cafes are rising day by day. The majority of people enjoy by eating delicious meal and in the weekend they usually go to some restaurants or other enjoyable places with their closest people for having dinner. This can cause to increasing the number of overweight people and fulling of restaurants, for example. The seniors or our government should pay attention seriously to that problem. Even they should make the rule for consumers. Now, there are no any limits for consuming much and this may affect to lack of food production. Actually, the individuals should eat three times on a daily basis, but some of them are consuming out of the limit. For avoid to this problem, the international communities should punish them. For instance, in China there are some penalties about this. By the way conclusion, the proportion of eating food is increasing around the world and this can affect negatively to people. Our government should take care and avoid this problem.
Nowadays the number of meal desires and demands are growing up in the world. What does this affect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
? Taking care about supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from international communities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
?

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
much,
as a result
, it leads to improving the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
demands.
However
, the new types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are increasing,
as well
as, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
centers or
‘cafes’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “cafés”
cafes
are rising day by day. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
delicious meal and in the weekend they
usually
go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restaurants or other enjoyable places with their closest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for having dinner. This can cause to increasing the number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and fulling of restaurants,
for example
.

The seniors or our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay attention
seriously
to that problem. Even they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
for consumers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there are
Did you mean “now” (=at this moment) instead of ‘no’ (negation)?
no
any limits for consuming much and this may affect to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production. Actually, the individuals should eat three times on a daily basis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are consuming out of the limit. For avoid to this problem, the international communities should punish them.
For instance
, in China there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
penalties about this.

By the way conclusion, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is increasing around the world and this can affect
negatively
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take care and avoid this problem.
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IELTS essay Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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