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851 first describe a place near water. you should say: where it ishow you get therehow often you do therewhat you can do thereand explain why you like it. v.1

851 first describe a place near water. you should say: where it ishow you get therehow often you do therewhat you can do thereand explain why you like it. v. 1
Nowadays, same commodities are available throughout the world due to which not much difference exists between the nations across the world. I believe that it is beneficial for the growth of both the countries as well as the individuals. Availability of identical products across the globe is advantageous for the development of the country due to many factors. Firstly, it gives a boost to the economy as foreign exchange gets increased due to higher imports and exports, resulting in an increase in treasury income. Secondly, with better trade, cordial relations are improved amongst the nations. For instance, after the implementation of globalization and liberalization policies in India in 1991, it has shown immense progress in its business and relations globally. Additionally, the existence of the same consumer goods in the entire world gives the people a lot of benefits. One obvious reason is that, the residents of any country can purchase items, which they have only heard from their friends visiting different places. For example, Kashmiri shawls are now available everywhere in the world as compared to ancient times when it was only accessible to the locals. Furthermore, it helps the non-residents to experience the things of their motherland and make them emotionally strong. In conclusion, in my opinion, the availability of similar commodities across the nations is extremely good as it helps the country to improve its economy and inter-nation relations. Moreover, it gives individuals a better experience.
Nowadays, same commodities are available throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
due to which not much difference exists between the nations across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. I believe that it is beneficial for the growth of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the individuals.

Availability of identical products across the globe is advantageous for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors.
Firstly
, it gives a boost to the economy as foreign exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
increased due to higher imports and exports, resulting in an increase in treasury income.
Secondly
, with better trade, cordial relations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
amongst the nations.
For instance
, after the implementation of globalization and liberalization policies in India in 1991, it has shown immense progress in its business and relations globally.

Additionally
, the existence of the same consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
gives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits. One obvious reason is that, the residents of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items, which they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
heard from their friends visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kashmiri
shawls are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available everywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as compared to ancient times when it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accessible to the locals.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the non-residents to experience the things of their motherland and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
emotionally
strong.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, the availability of similar commodities across the nations is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its economy and inter-nation relations.
Moreover
, it gives individuals a better experience.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 851 first describe a place near water. you should say: where it ishow you get therehow often you do therewhat you can do thereand explain why you like it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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