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In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ? (approximately 250 words)

In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? (approximately 250 words) qVQqP
It is true that today more and more people do their purchases on the Internet instead of going to physical stores. I believe that such a trend can be both positive and negative. On the one hand, shopping online has several perks. Firstly, such a method of purchase usually offers convenience. Customers can easily buy items from the comfort of their homes or workplaces and it is also uncomplicated to cancel transactions if they regret the selected merchandise. As a result, people will prefer this prevalent mode of shopping as it helps them decide how they will spend their time on other life activities. Secondly, online stores can give consumers the ability to compare products and their prices. The selling companies show the full range of products they have available to attract customers with different tastes and needs as well as extremely competitive prices. This eventually allows buyers to choose from a variety of models after comparing the features and price of the products on display and decide what to buy. Some commercial platforms in Vietnam such as Tiki, Shopee, and Lazada are currently successful for their diversity of stores, products, and prices that can satisfy different classes of consumers. On the other hand, there are many drawbacks of doing shopping on the Internet despite the advantages mentioned above. Fraud is the biggest downside of this. Many websites often show some great products at attractive promotions that seem too good to be true to draw attention from people and then sell fake products instead of genuine items. Customers will either end up receiving the fake product or not receiving the product at all, and it could ruin their shopping experience. Another negative point can be a delay in delivery. Unlike traditional marketplaces where customers can merely try and receive the product at the same time, which does not happen in online purchases that normally they must wait from a few hours to several working days or months depending on the distance and shipping policy. In an emergency, if people need a certain good immediately, the best option is still physical stores. In conclusion, although shopping online can bring many benefits for people in modern life, offline stores are still an adequate place for them to browse useful merchandise and experience the shopping atmosphere.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
on the Internet
instead
of going to physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. I believe that such a trend can be both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has several perks.
Firstly
, such a method of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
usually
offers convenience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Customers
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items from the comfort of their homes or workplaces and it is
also
uncomplicated to cancel transactions if they regret the selected merchandise.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will prefer this prevalent mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them decide how they will spend their time on other life activities.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can give consumers the ability to compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. The selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the full range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they have available to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes and needs
as well
as
extremely
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. This
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
buyers to choose from a variety of models after comparing the features and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on display and decide what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
commercial platforms in Vietnam such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiki
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lazada
are
currently
successful for their diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
that can satisfy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes of consumers.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet despite the advantages mentioned above. Fraud is the biggest downside of this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at attractive promotions that seem too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be true to draw attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and then sell fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
instead
of genuine items.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Customers
will either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up receiving the fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or not receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at all, and it could ruin their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point can be a delay in delivery. Unlike traditional marketplaces where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can
merely
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at the same time, which does not happen in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
that
normally
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
wait from a few hours to several working days or months depending on the distance and shipping policy. In an emergency, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
immediately, the best option is
still
physical stores.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in modern life, offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are
still
an adequate place for them to browse useful merchandise and experience the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
atmosphere.
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IELTS essay In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? (approximately 250 words)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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