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Death penalty conducted on murders

Several people agree that the death penalty for those who admitted severe crimes, while other believes that this violent punishment is unagreeable in modern society. Firstly, the pros of the execution that it's done in case the offender admit a horrible crime such as murdering someone, therefore the criminals before admitting to kill they will think hundreds of times due to feeling terrified from the penalty. In addition to, conducting this punishment infront of people this will implant horror in their heart. Moreover, after commiting this capital punishment guilty persons they start to think of their families, as they will not be capable of seeing them again. By this the killing crimes will decrease in the society. Secondly, the cons is that after executing the offender infront of the whole town this crulty and violency will affect the human spirit. Also, the executer who assigned for this duty will feel guilty and depressed as his mind is always picturing this moment while killing the criminals therefore, he will be an abnormal person. From my own point of view, i believe that capital punishment applied on murders it's a way to make the society clean without any crimes and bt this they will be able to live a peaceful and chearful lives.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the death penalty for those who admitted severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, while other believes that this violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unagreeable
in modern society.
Firstly
, the pros of the execution that it's done in case the offender admit a horrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as murdering someone,
therefore
the criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
The verb ‘admitting’ is used with the gerund form: “admitting killing”.
admitting to kill
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
hundreds of times due to feeling terrified from the penalty.
In addition
to, conducting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
this will implant horror in their heart.
Moreover
, after
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
this capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
guilty persons they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their families, as they will not be capable of seeing them again. By this the killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will decrease in the society.
Secondly
, the cons is that after executing the offender
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of the whole town this
Possible spelling mistake found.
crulty
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
violency
will affect the human spirit.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
executer
who assigned for this duty will feel guilty and depressed as his mind is always picturing this moment while killing the criminals
therefore
, he will be an abnormal person. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
applied on murders it's a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the society clean without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bt
this they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a peaceful and
Possible spelling mistake found.
chearful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Death penalty conducted on murders

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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