death can be a birth with different perspective

The ideas of death-after death and the moment of dying are hard and terrifying to imagine, even though we know that it is inevitable, yet we prefer to forget and to lose the death-related ideas in our everyday rush, not intentionally but subconsciously. Why are we so afraid of confronting this idea? It is after all just an idea, no? It cannot kill us, right? Then why we are delaying thinking this particular topic and not talking at all if it is not a special occasion? There are so many whys but there are not many answers to these questions. This, I suppose, is the mystery of death and its obscurity. After taking a big step to its vagueness, the death as well can bring about a change. To reveal the secrets of death and to make us feel better about why we do not focus on our finiteness, various theories have emerged. However, my focal point will be just one of them; the existential view. According to the ideas of Heidegger and Yalom based on the existential approach, forgetting our mortality and being busy with everyday struggles are actually our default mode and defense mechanism. The unconscious part of the mind protects us from the cold fact reality of death. Yet facing with it can provide a paradigm shift on the perspective of oneself. In my case, losing my grandfather gave to me radical shift not only once but twice. At first, the thought of not having my grandfather around is not even completely comprehensible. One day, I could see or call him and hear his voice, and then I could not. The easiness of losing someone was shocking. During this process, I excluded everyone from my life, even a part of me, the logical one, telling me that this was not the right way to act. And yet, handling all the emotions was challenging for me and I knew if I did not exclude them, I would lose them again and again. In time, a new reality dawned on me, almost awakening: I still had the people I cared about around me, and I might lose them at any time, even if I tried to avoid it, and they may not be there when I wanted to express my affection. Following this realization, my only option was to greet them with a great hug, both physically and psychologically. It can be said that a stir of emotion hit me back then yet, there is not an easy trick to deal with the grief. From my standpoint, my experience with death has formed into something that strengthens my relationships. The death is not only promotes new perspectives in our lives, but it also reminds us that we are alive. In fact, we need this awareness because of not to tackling little details or every day worries and enjoy what we have now. After all, the only thing we have is in now. Van Duerzen-Smith considers that being aware of the present moment enriches our experience and fulfills the potential we always have. Therefore, the transition from default to an authentic state of mind can be completed. To sum up, by looking directly to in the eye of the idea of death and having courage to go beyond it, we can get into the moment in order to flourish in it. That is how we can metaphorically transform into gorgeous butterflies can happen, rather than staying in our cocoons and being protected from the surrounding anxiety. We should push forward ourselves to face the fear. And in this way, even death, the annihilation itself, can deliver something new and changing like the life of a parent with a newborn baby.