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Day 3 Do you agree are disagree with the following statement? The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information.

Day 3 The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information. a73QY
In contemporary society, due to the development of technology, the vast majority of people tend to access the mass media to be updated with news. Whereas the numerous people claims that news media provides with genuine information without any bias, I advocate the opinion that people should not fully rely on the news media for several reasons. I will eradicate my perspective in the following paragraphs. To begin with, in order to profit a copious amount of budget, the vast majority of companies that possess television program tend to alter some details to make the story more fascinating. In some cases, the companies even make up a new story in oder for audiences to feel entertained. My country Korea is a compelling example to elaborate on my thoughts. Two years ago, during the vacation, all members of our family went to the Hala mountain for picnic. On that day, we enjoyed the picturesque scenery and the fresh atmosphere as we climb the mountain. After we reach the peak, we had nothing to do, so we decided to listen to radio while resting. It was a coincidence that when we turned on the radio, the announcer was discussing the catastrophic aftermath due to the severe volcanic eruption. However, we were there and as far as we know, nothing happened. Through the experience, we have learned that the mass media report unreliable sources to the public. On top of that, the government frequently exaggerate the issue to intrigue more attention. For instance, they will double the number of injured people due to the disaster like severe case of typhoon. My friend is the archetype to exemplify my perspetive. Back in the days when my friend traveled Sebu as a trip, he encounter a severe case of storm. Eventhough the case was severe, it was not that tragic like what the announcer reported in the news. According to the announcer, she reported that more than three hundred people passed away. This has not been true as far as I know.
In contemporary society, due to the development of technology, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to access the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
be updated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Whereas the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
claims
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provides with genuine information without any bias, I advocate the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
fully
rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for several reasons. I will eradicate my perspective in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in order to profit a copious amount of budget, the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that possess television program tend to alter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the story more fascinating. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
story in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
for audiences to feel entertained. My country Korea is a compelling example to elaborate on my thoughts. Two years ago, during the vacation, all members of our family went to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hala
mountain for picnic. On that day, we enjoyed the picturesque scenery and the fresh atmosphere as we climb the mountain. After we reach the peak, we had nothing to do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we decided to listen to radio while resting. It was a coincidence that when we turned on the radio, the announcer was discussing the catastrophic aftermath due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
volcanic eruption.
However
, we were there and as far as we know, nothing happened. Through the experience, we have learned that the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
report unreliable sources to the public.

On top of that
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
frequently
exaggerate the issue to intrigue more attention.
For instance
, they will double the number of injured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to the disaster like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
case of typhoon. My friend is the archetype to exemplify my
Possible spelling mistake found.
perspetive
. Back in the days when my friend traveled
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sebu
as a trip, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "encounters", "encountered".
encounter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
case of storm.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
the case was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
severe
, it was not that tragic like what the announcer reported in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. According to the announcer, she reported that more than three hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
passed away. This has not been true as far as I know.
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IELTS essay Day 3 The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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