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Dating has become more common in high schools in Vietnam. While some people point to the positive developments that dating can bring, others fear negative consequences from high school dating. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Dating has become more common in high schools in Vietnam. While some people point to the positive developments that dating can bring, others fear negative consequences from high school dating. 8JABB
While many individuals highlight the positive effects that high school dating can bring, I believe that dating in high school may lead to many negative results. Dating with someone in high school can bring positive developments to the students as it gives different experiences and helps the students gradually become mature. Firstly, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend can offer various perspective experiences about love, society, and high school life. Secondly, love in high school can help students become more mature. For instance, while dating someone, they started to understand the other feelings and ways to cherish the relationship. In contrast, high school dating can lead to negative results that can affect the students learning process, and damage both their physical and mental health. First and foremost, teenagers’ studies can be affected as they lose concentration in lessons and waste time thinking about love. Secondly, the students are too young to receive hurts from breakups as it can lead to numerous problems to their physical and mental health
While
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many
individuals highlight the
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positive
effects that
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high
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school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
can bring, I believe that
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dating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may lead to
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.

Dating with someone in
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experiences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
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students
gradually
become mature.
Firstly
, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend can offer various perspective experiences about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, society, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in
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high
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school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more mature.
For instance
, while
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dating
someone, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to understand the other feelings and ways to cherish the relationship.

In contrast
,
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results that can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning process, and damage both their physical and mental health.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ studies can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as they lose concentration in lessons and waste time thinking about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are too young to receive hurts from breakups as it can lead to numerous problems to their physical and mental health

IELTS essay Dating has become more common in high schools in Vietnam. While some people point to the positive developments that dating can bring, others fear negative consequences from high school dating.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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