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Đề bài: Some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. Others believe that a good working environment is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Đề bài: Some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. Others believe that a good working environment is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion g5jog
People have different views about the most crucial factor when choosing a job. While high salary is important to some extent, I would argue that working environment should be more considered. On the one hand, a job with high wages provides job seekers some certain advantages. Firstly, this sum of money allows a better standard of living. For instance, residents whose monthly incomes are over average can afford to buy a house and pay for travels abroad. Secondly, workers can have some savings from their great earnings. This can help with uncertainties and unforseen expenses when they are not paid. As a result, they can be confident in controlling the risks of life. On the other hand, the atmosphere at workplace, which no payment can buy, can satisfy employees more. First of all, there are many coworkers who are ready to support their counterparts in work and life. Therefore, workers will feel safe, which significantly encourages them to be devoted to their chosen jobs. If working environment is often stressful due to bad workmates, employees will be likely to suffer from serious tension. Furthermore, an ideal environment for working usually has professional managers who can recognise talents and give promotion opportunities for their own staff. Consequently, they directly speed up their staff’s future career path. As a result, employees will be successful in their fields. If they spend their working time in poor environment, they will lose incentives to work effectively. In conclusion, while a well-paid job is preferable, I believe that working in an ideal workplace is a better option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the most crucial factor when choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While high salary is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should be more considered.

On the one hand, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with high wages provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain advantages.
Firstly
, this sum of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a better standard of living.
For instance
, residents whose monthly incomes are over average can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and pay for travels abroad.
Secondly
, workers can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
savings from their great earnings. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with uncertainties and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unforseen
expenses when they are not paid.
As a result
, they can be confident in controlling the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of life.

On the other hand
, the atmosphere at workplace, which no payment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, can satisfy employees more.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
coworkers who are ready to support their counterparts in work and life.
Therefore
, workers will feel safe, which
significantly
encourages them to
be devoted
to their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stressful due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
workmates, employees will be likely to suffer from serious tension.
Furthermore
, an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
usually
has professional managers who can
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
talents and give promotion opportunities for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
staff.
Consequently
, they
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
their staff’s future career path.
As a result
, employees will be successful in their fields. If they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
time in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, they will lose incentives to work
effectively
.

In conclusion
, while a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is preferable, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in an ideal workplace is a better option
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IELTS essay Đề bài: Some people believe a high salary is the most important factor when choosing a job. Others believe that a good working environment is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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