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Culture is turning similar around the world, what are the reasons. What are the postives and negative aspects?

Culture is turning similar around the world, what are the reasons. What are the postives and negative aspects? DlM37
Thanks to the globalization and the industrialization that have turned the world into a global village. Therefore, in today's era, almost all people from over the world belong to the same culture. There are plethora of reasons behind this modification. I will explore many of them in this essay along with some merits and disadvantages of this recently emerged phenomenon. There are numerous factors that have been transforming the desparate cultures of different regions of the world into one singular culture. The most crucial one is the impact of globalization and industrialization. As the matter of fact, industrialization has been accelerating its growth in each and every field in almost every nation across the globe. As a result, the market of every county has become globalized that has enabled people to buy similar products such as cloths, bags and other accessories that are used by majority of the world population. As consequence, most people for example in india, like to wear western jeans which are widely accepted by all the individuals of the world. In addition to this, transportation of food products from one country to another country has also been soaring over the past few years. Hence, nowadays people have more choices in their food menus even they prefer to have those cuisine which are globally popular. Thus, this significant change has made people able to accept the similar food culture that is prevailed around the world. Another significant reason is the role media in this current transformation. News channels, movies, cultural progrmmes of other regions are being telecasted on television which people like to watch more than their own cultural programs thereby, there strive to imitate their lifestyles so that they become as similar as of those they watch on television screens. As far as the advantages and disadvantages of this change is concerned i would like to assert that it has more positive considerations than negative ones. Firstly, it helps to broaden the horizons of people's mind and make them more tolerant towards the peole of other religions and regions. To add to it, they have an opportunity to learn one universally accepted language so that they can make their business deals with the companies or communities of other parts of the world more efficiently and easily. In the same context, they can learn more about the singular culture of the world through this transformation so that by adopting the same one they could become the part this global village. By contrast, there are few downsides of this new phenomenon. The major one is the demise of many regional cultures as many people from all the regions are turning towards this newly accepted global culture they are intentionally or intentionally forgetting the importance of their own culture which resulted in the extinction of many cultures. Secondarily, the loss of many vernacular languages as per the fact that many people speak and learn foreign languages. Thus they started considering their own languages are of less value. Moreover, due to that impact this new culture most of the skilled people moving towards foreign lands thus it makes it unacceptable trend as their valuable skills are much needed in their own countries' developments. In conclusion, by taking everything into consideration it is quite evident that the culture been turning equal all over the world. However, there are many advantages of this trend but this trend also has few cons that can't be overlooked. And to turn these merits into demerits governments as well as individuals of all the nations should come forward and work altogether.
Thanks to the globalization and the industrialization that have turned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a global village.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
belong to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. There are plethora of reasons behind this modification. I will explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them in this essay along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits and disadvantages of this recently emerged phenomenon.

There are numerous factors that have been transforming the
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desparate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into one singular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. The most crucial one is the impact of globalization and industrialization. As the matter of fact, industrialization has been accelerating its growth in each and every field in almost every nation across the globe.
As a result
, the market of every county has become globalized that has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
similar products such as cloths, bags and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
accessories that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
As
consequence, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for example
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
, like to wear western jeans which are
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by all the individuals of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
In addition
to this, transportation of food products from one country to another country has
also
been soaring over the past few years.
Hence
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more choices in their food menus even they prefer to have
Did you mean "this cuisine" or "those cuisines"?
those cuisine
which are globally popular.
Thus
, this significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
able to accept the similar food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
that
is prevailed
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Another significant reason is the role media in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
transformation. News channels, movies, cultural
Possible spelling mistake found.
progrmmes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
are being
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on television which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural programs thereby, there strive to imitate their lifestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they become as similar as of those they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on television screens.

As far as the advantages and disadvantages of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is concerned
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to assert that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
considerations than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to broaden the horizons of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more tolerant towards the
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
religions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, they have an opportunity to learn one
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their business deals with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or communities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more
efficiently
and
easily
. In the same context, they can learn more about the singular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
through this transformation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that by adopting the same one they could become the part this global village. By contrast, there are few downsides of this new phenomenon. The major one is the demise of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
are turning towards this
newly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they are
intentionally
or
intentionally
forgetting the importance of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which resulted in the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Secondarily
, the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vernacular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as per the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
speak and learn foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
considering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are of less value.
Moreover
, due to that impact this new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
most of the skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving towards foreign lands
thus
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it unacceptable trend as their valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries' developments.

In conclusion
, by taking everything into consideration it is quite evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
been turning equal all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of this trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend
also
has few cons that can't
be overlooked
. And to turn these merits into demerits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
as well
as individuals of all the nations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and work altogether.
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IELTS essay Culture is turning similar around the world, what are the reasons. What are the postives and negative aspects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
595 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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