Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Combating the Cult of Thinness

Combating the Cult of Thinness m16DO
Why would a frightening percentage of American women gladly trade five years off their lives for 10 pounds off their bodies, or prefer to be perceived as thin rather than as kind or intelligent? This obsession with thinness needs to be understood if we are to avoid the consequences, which are often tragic. Beyond this, there are further steps that ought to be taken so that women can have a healthier and more positive sense of themselves. It is no wonder that American women are obsessed with thinness. From a very young age, it is emphasized to women how important it is to be pretty, and to be pretty by society’s standards means being thin. This blatant message is seen everywhere. Not only do images in magazimes, TV commercials and billboard posters put an exaggerated emphasis on women's bodies, they also hold up an ideal of thinness that is almost impossible to attain. Computer-enhanced photography employs techniques such as airbrushing blemishes and slenderizing the bodies of models. This adds to the creation of an ideal model that women strive to mimic. American society’s prescription of what it means to be feminine needs a rewrite. Current definitions of femininity are dictated by a social system that gains control over women by defining them primarily in terms of their bodies. In order to see change, women must challenge the industries that feed upon body insecurity. They need to change the messages that women absorb daily. One method would be to stop purchasing the very fashion magazines that have been allowed to define femininity. Large-scale boycotts of these fashion magazines can lead to major change of the feminine ideal. Another method that can be used to alleviate the emphasis placed on the ideal figure is through education. Women need to realize that the images seen in advertisements and on television sitcoms are not the norm. The average American woman is 5’4”, a size 12, and 155 pounds. Women with these proportions hardly ever appear in clothing or cosmetic advertisements. Education is needed to stress the new message that women of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful. Since many American women will go to extraordinary lengths to be thin, the only solution for this growing problem is to attempt to understand why it has become such an obsession. It is clear that media, television, and acquaintances all stress the importance of being thin and beautiful to impressionable young women. If we as a society could only change the emphasis to be on the mind rather than on the body, women would benefit with increased self-esteem, healthier lifestyles, and increased confidence.
Why would a frightening percentage of American
women
gladly
trade five years off their
lives
for
10 pounds
off their
bodies
, or prefer to
be perceived
as
thin
rather
than as kind or intelligent? This obsession with thinness
needs
to
be understood
if we are to avoid the consequences, which are
often
tragic. Beyond this, there are
further
steps that ought to
be taken
so
that
women
can have a healthier and more
positive
sense of themselves.

It is no wonder that American
women
are obsessed
with thinness. From a
very
young age, it
is emphasized
to
women
how
important
it is to be pretty, and to be pretty by
society’s
standards means being
thin
. This blatant message is
seen
everywhere. Not
only
do images in
magazimes
, TV commercials and billboard posters put an exaggerated emphasis on women's
bodies
, they
also
hold up an ideal of thinness
that is
almost impossible to attain. Computer-enhanced photography employs techniques such as airbrushing blemishes and slenderizing the
bodies
of models. This
adds
to the creation of an ideal model that
women
strive to mimic.

American
society’s
prescription of what it means to be feminine
needs
a rewrite.
Current
definitions of femininity
are dictated
by a social system that gains control over
women
by defining them
primarily
in terms of their
bodies
. In order to
see
change
,
women
must
challenge the industries that feed upon
body
insecurity. They
need
to
change
the messages that
women
absorb daily. One method would be to
stop
purchasing the
very
fashion magazines that have been
allowed
to define femininity. Large-scale boycotts of these fashion magazines can lead to major
change
of the feminine ideal.

Another method that can be
used
to alleviate the emphasis placed on the ideal figure is through education.
Women
need
to realize that the images
seen
in advertisements and on television sitcoms are not the norm. The average American woman is 5’4”, a size 12, and
155 pounds
.
Women
with these proportions hardly ever appear in clothing or cosmetic advertisements. Education
is needed
to
stress
the new message that
women
of all shapes and sizes can be
beautiful
.

Since
many
American
women
will go to extraordinary lengths to be
thin
, the
only
solution for this growing problem is to attempt to understand why it has become such an obsession. It is
clear
that media, television, and acquaintances all
stress
the importance of being
thin
and
beautiful
to impressionable young
women
. If we as a society could
only
change
the emphasis to be on the mind
rather
than on the
body
,
women
would benefit with increased self-esteem, healthier lifestyles, and increased confidence.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Combating the Cult of Thinness

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts