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Criminal below 18years of age need education, not punishment. Do you agree or disagree.

Criminal below 18years of age need education, not punishment. bOyMW
Yes, I am with this statement but many people think by giving punishment to below 10 years old citizens, they will come in right track but they don't know one thing 18 years old people are underdeveloped, I mean they are not mentally strong. By giving punishment we will get nothing that's why we should give education instead of punishment by giving education we can make them good person but by giving punishment we will get nothing the only think we will get are criminals. Therefore, in my point of view giving education is the best way to show them right track. As we see in many European countries and English countries has started providing education to the below 18 years in jail also because of which many students are able to select or able to know which is right track and which is wrong. Therefore giving education is the best choice instead of punishment. As we see in many countries the children's below 18 who has performed criminal activities in past but after getting proper education they became successful person and able to select right track but other side those under 18 children who got punishment in future they started rubbing and started doing more criminal activities because they did not get proper education. At least I want to say that giving education is best for below 18 years old children instead of punishment.
Yes, I am with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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many
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people
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think
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
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punishment
to
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below
10 years
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old
citizens, they will
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come
in
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right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't know one thing 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are underdeveloped
, I mean they are not mentally strong.

By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
we will
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get
nothing that's why we should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
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giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
we will
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get
nothing the
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only
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think
we will
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get
are criminals.
Therefore
, in my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.

As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European countries and English countries has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
18 years in jail
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
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many
students are able to select or able to know which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
and which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best choice
instead
of punishment.

As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
18 who has performed criminal activities in past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after getting proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they became successful person and able to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other side those under 18 children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in future they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
rubbing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing more criminal activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper education.

At least I want to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
below
18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
children
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.

IELTS essay Criminal below 18years of age need education, not punishment.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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