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Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas, what do you think that is.

Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas, what do you think that is. MwRK9
With the increase in population, increase in crime is becoming the biggest concern for most countries. In many countries, crime rate is higher in metropolitan cities than in villages or urban areas. I agree with this. Firstly, in metropolitan Cities life is not easy, most people live their lifes hand to mouth. Moreover, competition in social status is high in big cities which leads to frustration and effect mental health. All these factors increase crime, as people wants to get rich as soon as possible in urban areas and try to find short cuts in thier life. Secondly, urban areas are most populated areas of the country, where there is a blend of culture and people all around the country, which means every other person thinks differently. Some of them may do drugs, alcohol or have other bad habbits that are illegal and they will try to find ways to enjoy thier habits. On the contrary, parents in metropolitan cities have well busy and hectic life that cause difficulty in the upbringing of children, which eventually produce black sheeps of society. On the other hand, life in rural areas is calm and smooth, they don't have any social competitions, they earn to live their life happily, they don't have any social dilemma and even they don't take excess load in their minds. In conclusion, crime rate in urban areas is more because of people life style, busy schedules, unemployment, and wish to become rich in short period of time.
With the increase in population, increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is becoming the biggest concern for most
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countries
. In
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many
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countries
,
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crime
rate is higher in metropolitan
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cities
than in villages or
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urban
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areas
. I
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agree
with this.
Firstly
, in metropolitan
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "Cities'" or "city's"?
Cities
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life
is not easy, most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
hand to mouth.
Moreover
, competition in social status is high in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which leads to frustration and effect mental health. All these factors increase
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crime
, as
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rich as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible in
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urban
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areas
and try to find short
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cuts
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
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life
.
Secondly
,
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urban
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areas
are most populated
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areas
of the
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country
, where there is a blend of culture and
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people
all around the
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country
, which means every other person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
differently
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may do drugs, alcohol or have other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
that are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
illegal and
they will try to find ways to enjoy
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
habits.
On the contrary
, parents in metropolitan
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cities
have well busy and hectic
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life
that cause difficulty in the upbringing of children, which
eventually
produce black
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
of society.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is calm and smooth, they don't have any social competitions, they earn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happily
, they don't have any social dilemma and even they don't take excess load in their minds.
In conclusion
,
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crime
rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style, busy schedules, unemployment, and wish to become rich in short period of time.
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IELTS essay Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas, what do you think that is.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
249 words
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text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
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5.0
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