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describe future of robot in the future

describe future of robot in the future bOl0W
It is true that more countries invest a huge amount of money in encouraging bicycle usage. This action is that bicycle is one of the best vehicles to prevent us from traffic jam and it is more convenient. However, if the government want to handle the problem with only bicycle, I strongly believe this will not be succeeded. First of all, bicycles play an important role in avoiding traffic jams, and those countries with this problem usually spend a lot of money to encourage people to ride on a bike. For example Belgium, the kingdom of chocolate, has encouraged people riding bicycles by building a 3 lanes freeway for the bikes. Moreover, it can not be denied that bicycles are extremely friendly with the environment, they release no smoke, they use no fossil fuel and they are silence. Therefore, many governments spend tons of money on bicycle project. Despite the fact that bicycles can solve the traffic congestion and keep the environment safety, but only bicycles won’t have enough power to help us completely because there may be some citizens to old or to young who are unable to ride a bike on their own. However, there are many ways to sovle this problem, the governments can build another transportation system such as: Metro train above our head, underground high speed train, … and more overpass in the center of the cities. This edited project will of course solve the problem esily. In addition, this kind of solution can help us handle some parts of the traffic congestion problem. However, when all citizens use bicycle, our develop speed may be slowed down, people may become tired arriving the company with sweaty shirt and pans, and our country can not grow.
It is true that more countries invest a huge amount of money in encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
usage. This action is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is one of the best vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam and it is more convenient.
However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
want to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
, I
strongly
believe this will not
be succeeded
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, and those countries with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
usually
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to ride on a bike.
For example
Belgium, the kingdom of chocolate, has encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
riding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
by building a 3 lanes freeway for the bikes.
Moreover
, it can not
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
are
extremely
friendly with the environment, they release no smoke, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
no fossil
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fuel and
they are silence.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend tons of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
project. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment safety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
won’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
citizens to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or to young who are unable to ride a bike on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sovle
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can build another transportation system such as: Metro
The singular proper name 'Metro' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "trains", "trained".
train
above our head, underground high speed train, … and more overpass in the center of the cities. This edited project will
of course
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Possible spelling mistake found.
esily
.
In addition
, this kind of solution can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, when all citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
, our develop speed may
be slowed
down,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may become tired arriving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with sweaty shirt and pans, and our country can not grow.
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IELTS essay describe future of robot in the future

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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